# 'Tom Cruise is gay': a homophobic statement? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 26, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163 "2005-07-26T02:39:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/81 "2005-07-27T20:01:20Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > I have only seen the trailer once, but didn’t I see Rupert Everett playing a straight man dating Diane Lane in _Must Love Dogs_? Call me weird, but I wouldn’t put Mr. Everett in the same catagory as Tom Cruise in terms of star power, and he’s the only example that I can think of that even comes close. He’s an art-house darling, to be sure, but he’s not in the same earnings or box-office-draw echelon as a Cruise, or a Wil Smith, Leo DiCaprio, etc. (I hear the latter is “under suspicion” as well). ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/82 "2005-07-27T20:13:48Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Sure, I know of at least two: Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson. Brad? That you? 😃 Mel is doing a good job of faking the hetero thing. Doesn’t he have like 37 kids or something? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/83 "2005-07-27T20:24:56Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > You’re sure of that because…like, for instance, they’re totally open about their gayness and involved in comitted homosexual relationships, or something like that? Are we on the same planet? At this point, I’m no longer certain. What the hell are we talking about, again? ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/84 "2005-07-27T20:28:29Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > I have only seen the trailer once, but didn’t I see Rupert Everett playing a straight man dating Diane Lane in _Must Love Dogs_? Also, IIRC, he played it straight in _Midsummer Night’s Dream_. Ian McKellan. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/85 "2005-07-27T21:05:23Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Tom Cruise is a homo. Sounds like wishful thinking. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/86 "2005-07-27T21:50:10Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > I have only seen the trailer once, but didn’t I see Rupert Everett playing a straight man dating Diane Lane in _Must Love Dogs_? No that John Cusack. Talking about wishful thinking, though … It’s pretty much an open secret that Kevin Spacey is gay. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/87 "2005-07-27T21:53:57Z")
No, no, no. You already have Rupert Everett. You don’t get to have Kevin Spacey, too. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/88 "2005-07-27T23:20:45Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Inevitably, someone asked for a cite. Of course, there’s precious little concrete evidence that Mr. Cruise is gay. It’s all circumstantial-- he sued someone for libel for claiming they had sex, and won, but didn’t ask for anything but a retraction. That doesn’t prove much but it does put the idea out there. Perhaps I am brain dead today [sub]totally possible, I am on vacation and I don’t need mine so why keep it active?[/sub] but how does asking only for a retraction if someone lies in print about you instead of asking for money prove that you are gay? Instead of just nice…or stupid, depending on your point of view? > [@](#): > > There’s the fact that Scientology believes homosexuality is an aberration that can be cured through auditing, so even if Tom has had gay relationships in the past, he would strenuously deny it now and probably has repressed the possibility that he is gay. Again, strictly conjecture and yes, ultimately unprovable psychoanalyzing of a stranger, but it does have a bit of a ring of truth to it, based on his recent behavior. Again, his recent behavior has been bizarre…at the very least. However, I don’t see anything there that indicates that he is gay. Nuts, yes. Gay? I don’t see the connection. Not that I care one way or the other, because I don’t. > [@](#): > > Mimi Rogers, the first Mrs. Cruise, said that Tom should have been a monk (his first calling was to be a Catholic priest, btw). He was into celibacy to “maintain the purity of his instrument.” She told _Playboy_ that she left him because “her instrument needed tuning.” Um…see the above “nuts” comment. Still no evidence of him being homosexual. Also possible that he didn’t feel like having sex with HER anymore. Not pleasant for Mimi, but… > [@](#): > > The couple never had children, but she went on to have some with her next husband. You’ve never known anyone who had no kids with his first wife but adopted some with his second? Maybe he was infertile and Mimi didn’t WANT to adopt? > [@](#): > > Tom adopted kids with Nicole Kidman, but they broke up when she was 3 months pregnant, and then she miscarried. There was something weird going on there, but it’s been kept pretty quiet. That whole thing was pretty weird, I’ll grant you that. But again…what does it have to do with him being gay? Or not? > [@](#): > > According to my friend, it’s been alleged that Kidman was pregnant with someone else’s child, but **that’s just gossip.** Ah…gossip. How nice. > [@](#): > > Now there’s the whole bizarre insanity of Katie Holmes, which sure seems like a faux-relationship. Doesn’t sound like it to me, to ME it sounds like he has lost his mind. Whether over love for Katie or just plain dementia, I have no idea. Since I don’t, you know, _KNOW_ him and all. > [@](#): > > I think Nicole Kidman made some oblique comments about Tom needing to stop making such a big deal, lest people think the relationship was fake. To me, if she actually _said_ this, it just means she obviously isn’t stupid. Since, after all, this is apparently what has happened. > [@](#): > > OK, so that’s the evidence my friend offered. Then your friend is a little light on the evidence. In general I couldn’t care less about what is said in the press about a public personality (actor, politician…whatever) unless it is something for which there is a REASON I should, personally, be concerned. For example, if a politician is lying about something that affects his/her constituents, [sub]and if I am one of them[/sub] then I feel it is my right to know the truth. If a pol has a mistress, for instance, it is the business of the pol’s family and himself…certainly it is NOT mine. If he has appointed his mistress as Attorney General just because of the relationship, THEN it becomes MY business. Tom Cruise’s sexuality, therefore, is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. I can’t say whether I think your friend was being homophobic or not out of context. If there was a discussion going on about Tom Cruise…say about his recent behavior…and your friend said “well, he’s gay you know…” implying that THAT was why he has apparently gone loony, then I think I would consider it homophobic. If, OTOH, people were talking about the recent behavior and your friend said “Well, I’ve heard that he is a closeted homosexual and maybe he is getting kind of crazy because he is desperately trying to fight it or hide it because of his career…that’d make ANYONE crazy, wouldn’t it?” type of thing, then I’d say…not homophobic. Anytime a person starts with an assumption about another person **strictly because of their ethnicity or sexual orientation** , that is prejudice. Plain and simple. In my opinion, of course. I also admit that I am a little touchy on this subject because I work with a lady who is homophobic. She is a very nice person, and if someone she knew was gay and needed help, she’d be right there in line to help. But that doesn’t stop her from making these comments that drive me right up the wall. But, challenge her on these (admittedly, on the surface, “innocuous”) comments, and she will say something along the lines of “But I’m NOT homophobic…I took meals to XYZ when he was dying of AIDS…how could I be homophobic?” And it is true, she DID do that. Trying to explain the difference between the two things finally got ME so crazy that I quit trying. I just keep praying that I planted a question in her mind and maybe one of these days a light bulb will go on. “Oh, THAT’S what you meant!” I pray for that day. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![MadderMitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e7dd6/32.png) [@MadderMitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadderMitch)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/89 "2005-07-28T01:09:50Z")
Ha ha **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe… How’d you like them apples? ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/90 "2005-07-28T01:11:20Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > No that John Cusack. Talking about wishful thinking, though … Believe me, I wouldn’t mistake John Cusack for anyone else! He is my not-so-secret all-time celebrity crush… But I thought I saw Everrett in a small role as another suitor who plants a huge kiss on Diane Lane (in the kitchen) but IMDB doesn’t show him in the cast list. Maybe it was Dermot Mulroney… My point is, Rupert could probably play stright with no problem. And yeah, K. Spacey has played straight a few times… ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/91 "2005-07-28T01:33:21Z")
> [@MadderMitch](#): > > Ha ha **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe… > How’d you like them apples? I’d have to say I’m fairly indifferent to those apples. You are, I presume, trying to make a point of some kind? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/92 "2005-07-28T01:46:12Z")
> [@Scotticher](#): > > Perhaps I am brain dead today [sub]totally possible, I am on vacation and I don’t need mine so why keep it active?[/sub] but how does asking only for a retraction if someone lies in print about you instead of asking for money prove that you are gay? Instead of just nice…or stupid, depending on your point of view? You’ve misread me. I wasn’t saying that just acting for a retraction implied that he was gay. The fact that someone claimed he was gay in a very public was is what first put the idea out there. That’s all I was saying on that point. > [@](#): > > Again, his recent behavior has been bizarre…at the very least. However, I don’t see anything there that indicates that he is gay. Nuts, yes. Gay? I don’t see the connection. Not that I care one way or the other, because I don’t. It seems to some people that his bizarre behavior, esp. in re: Katie Holmes, could be the result of his desperate attempts to debunk rumors that he’s gay. Apparently he had a list of starlets he was casing to be his girlfriend, and Katie wasn’t first on the list. This is Tom Freakin’ Cruise we’re talking about. Why does he need a list, need these women vetted and interviewed, before he dates them? Seems like Katie was the only one gullible enough to go for it. Then, you know, he doth protest a bit too much in public. Circumstantial, yes it is, but it’s suspicious as hell. > [@](#): > > Um…see the above “nuts” comment. Still no evidence of him being homosexual. Also possible that he didn’t feel like having sex with HER anymore. Not pleasant for Mimi, but… The implication of Mimi’s comment was not that he stopped having sex with her, but that they practically never had sex, and that’s why she never conceived a child. You’re right, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay, but it might mean that. > [@](#): > > That whole thing was pretty weird, I’ll grant you that. But again…what does it have to do with him being gay? Or not? Again, you’re right, it doesn’t prove anything. If there was proof, this conversation would be moot. What this has to do with him being gay is that he cannot father a child, apparently, and was not sleeping with her, but Nicole Kidman was pregnant. Maybe all it indicates is that Tom is impotent and that led to Nicole’s infidelity, who knows? > [@](#): > > Ah…gossip. How nice. It’s the price of fame. > [@](#): > > Then your friend is a little light on the evidence. Of course she is. Like I said, there’s little concrete evidence and there won’t be anything much more solid forthcoming. It paints a circumstantial picture: he only dates and marries high profile stars, but doesn’t have sex with them. He belongs to a homophobic religion that claims it can cure homosexuality. He desperately tries to keep up the facade of normal hetero relationships while his behavior gets less and less normal. His fiancee has turned into a robotic zombie. It might be totally incorrect to think that his behavior stems from the pressure of repressing his gay identity, but I think it’s true. It doesn’t really matter what I or my friend or the gay community or anyone else think-- as long as we aren’t trying to hurt Tom Cruise, it’s all just idle speculation. But is it homophobic? I think not. > [@](#): > > If, OTOH, people were talking about the recent behavior and your friend said “Well, I’ve heard that he is a closeted homosexual and maybe he is getting kind of crazy because he is desperately trying to fight it or hide it because of his career…that’d make ANYONE crazy, wouldn’t it?” type of thing, then I’d say…not homophobic. Yep, that’s the gist of it. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/93 "2005-07-28T03:43:44Z")
Tom Cruise’s sexual preference has been talked about endlessly for the past 20 years or so. There have been constant rumours and various people claiming to have knowledge and/or proof of his homosexual encounters. And as far as Ian McKellen goes- he’s not exactly big-box-office Hollywood, but if we’re going with “he’s not straight?” British actors of a certain generation, we’re going to need a lot more space for the list! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MadderMitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e7dd6/32.png) [@MadderMitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadderMitch)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/94 "2005-07-28T14:32:40Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’d have to say I’m fairly indifferent to those apples. You are, I presume, trying to make a point of some kind? Wouldn’t dream of it. You might claim I’m gay and try to bash my head in. **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/95 "2005-07-28T15:02:45Z")
> [@MadderMitch](#): > > Wouldn’t dream of it. You might claim I’m gay and try to bash my head in. > **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe, **Miller** is a homophobe [Johnny Depp As Willy Wonka] You’re weird! [/JDAWW] ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/96 "2005-07-28T15:49:37Z")
> [@Priam](#): > > [Johnny Depp As Willy Wonka] You’re weird! [/JDAWW] Isn’t he, though? I think I like him. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/97 "2005-07-28T15:52:11Z")
> [@MadderMitch](#): > > Wouldn’t dream of it. You might claim I’m gay and try to bash my head in. I’m not really sure whether you’re attempting humor or what here. A little too full of himself, yes. A little pompous sometimes, I’d say. A bit too accomodating of heterosexists, tru dat. Not sufficiently appreciative of flaming queens and ACT UP! types, surely. Whatever else you say about **Miller** , he’s not a self-hating queen. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/98 "2005-07-28T16:04:41Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > I’m not really sure whether you’re attempting humor or what here. A little too full of himself, yes. A little pompous sometimes, I’d say. A bit too accomodating of heterosexists, tru dat. Not sufficiently appreciative of flaming queens and ACT UP! types, surely. Whatever else you say about **Miller** , he’s not a self-hating queen. Hey, I resent the hell out of that! I have nothing at all against flaming queens! Heck, I’ve flamed _you_ plenty of times. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/99 "2005-07-28T16:05:50Z")
😛 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163/100 "2005-07-29T07:10:11Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > The fact that someone claimed he was gay in a very public way is what first put the idea out there. > > It’s the price of fame. I’m only going to respond to these two things, since they are the crux of my point. So, someone said Tom Cruise is gay, in print. So, gossip is the price of fame. Lots and lots of people have been called homosexuals in print. Some of these people were, and some of them weren’t. I assume. I don’t know these people and I don’t know for sure, nor is it any of my business…so I don’t care. But the thing is, ANYONE can say ANYTHING about ANYONE…and truly, facts do not necessarily factor into it. In fact I think it is safe to say that the only thing that DOES factor into it is selling…papers, magazines and the like. Lots and lots of people have been accused of cheating on their spouse in print. Some of them undoubtedly ARE/WERE cheating, and some aren’t/weren’t. Buying into any of this media stuff is dangerous, since it leads to believing anything that is said to us IRL. Suppose someone you know tells you that soandso is cheating on their spouse. Suppose they tell everyone they know this “news”. Sometimes this “news” is true, and sometimes it is not. Suppose all the people this person tells this to repeats it…and suppose it isn’t true. Suppose that it ruins a marriage? I mean, a strong marriage could withstand a lie like that, but many people are working through things and their marriage isn’t all that strong. That kind of marriage might be viable with work, but with a rumor like the one I posit could very easily be ruined. Often there are children are involved. “Gossip” ruins lives. Public gossip as well as the ordinary garden variety gossip we all hear every day. Even if the gossip is true, but especially if it isn’t. I don’t know if Tom Cruise is gay or if he isn’t. But I don’t think that it is anyone’s business but his…and that of his loved ones. He may be a celebrity, and he may have lost it mentally. Or not. But either way, he doesn’t deserve to have his private life dissected like this. If he WERE gay and struggling with it, he would deserve compassion for his struggle. If he ISN’T gay, he shouldn’t have to spend the rest of his life trying to prove he ISN’T gay. Holy Cats…lets just all admit that it isn’t a picnic in the park to be Gay. I don’t happen to believe that there is anything wrong with it, but there is a whole bunch of people out there who DO think there is something wrong with it. So being Gay isn’t easy…there are the homophobes, the bashers, the relatives who disown you, the people who fire you for your sexual preference, the nutcases who KILL you. Is this the way it SHOULD be? Absolutely NOT. But…the world is, at this point, what it IS. GAHHHHH…the whole thing makes me nauseous. Hey, if the man is gay it isn’t going to change how I feel about him. But the sad fact is, it WOULD change many people’s feelings about him. Is that right? No. But it is a fact that it would. The same thing is true IRL with people you interact with every day. And, I expect that is a hijack. My apologies. I have seen people’s lives ruined by this kind of stuff, and I guess it upsets me enough to get on a soapbox about it. > [@](#): > > Yep, that’s the gist of it. To return to your topic, my feeling is that if your friend approached it the way you indicated he/she did, your friend wasn’t being homophobic. I also confess to being clueless about all the **Miller** is a homophobe stuff. I must have been offboard for too long? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-cruise-is-gay-a-homophobic-statement/314163.md?page=6)