Tom DeLay: "God Wrote the Constitution"

[kaylasdad99]

@Neidhart

Since neither democracy nor republics are ever mentioned in the Bible, I think God wants the US to be an absolute monarchy (doesn’t the word “kingdom” show up a whole lot?)

That’s why whenever anyone invokes “the Lord” at me, I say “Sorry, I’m an American. We don’t have lords.”

[Uncle_Jocko]

@BrainGlutton

I guess it’s mostly harmless since DeLay is no longer in Congress, he’s just a lecturer now.

The problem is the people who take his shit seriously.

But others with this notion are trying desperately to get into Congress. Or the Senate, even.

The leading GOP candidate in this year’s Senate race in Iowa (to replace the retiring Tom Harkin) is Joni Ernst. Yes, she with the hog-castratin’, motorcycle-ridin’, pistol-shootin’ ways sure to strike fear into the hearts of Obama and all them no-good Washington libruls. Anyway, in a recent debate she said her decisions on approving federal judges would be based on whether they realized the Constitution and our laws come from God.

Naturally, no one thought to follow up with the fact that the Affordable Care Act is a law. Or gun control laws, or public education laws, or basically any law these fundamentalist Tea Party types don’t like. They’re laws, so by definition, they came from God, right? Right?

[TokyoBayer]

You want to know whacky?

Here is a former justice of the Utah Supreme Court as well as a former law professor, arguing why God wrote the constitution.

The Divinely Inspired Constitution

Not long after I began to teach law, an older professor asked me a challenging question about Latter-day Saints’ belief in the United States Constitution. Earlier in his career he had taught at the University of Utah College of Law. There he met many Latter-day Saint law students. “They all seemed to believe that the Constitution was divinely inspired,” he said, “but none of them could ever tell me what this meant or how it affected their interpretation of the Constitution.” I took that challenge personally, and I have pondered it for many years.

I hope I will not be thought immodest if I claim a special interest in the Constitution. As a lawyer and law professor for more than twenty years, I have studied the United States Constitution. As legal counsel, I helped draft the bill of rights for the Illinois constitutional convention of 1970. And for three and one-half years as a justice of the Utah Supreme Court I had the sworn duty to uphold and interpret the constitutions of the state of Utah and the United States. My conclusions draw upon those experiences and upon a lifetime of studying the scriptures and the teachings of the living prophets.

He later quotes from the Mormon scriptures:

@Good Ole God Himself

77 According to the laws and constitution of the people, which I have suffered to be established, and should be maintained for the brights and protection of all flesh, according to just and holy principles;

My AP history teacher (in Utah, of course) openly taught us that.

[Alessan]

@elucidator

Well, according to the Bible, the Israelites ruled a vast empire with a sprawling capital. Rather than a bunch of raggedy-ass goatherds wandering aimlessly over a sere and desolate landscape, with most of their history about getting conquered.

Dude… leave us out of this, OK? You want to attack Christians, knock yourself out. No need to insult us along with them.

[Little_Nemo]

@Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew

Hint: Skammer’s reference to a missing comma was not irrelevant.

Okay, I missed it the first time. My bad.

Ask not for whom the whoosh goes. It whooshes thee.

[Kobal2]

@Skammer

Gotta watch those missing commas.

Well, you know what spellcheckers say. Proper capitalization and punctuation is the difference between “I am going to help my brother, Jack, off his horse” and…

[elucidator]

@Alessan

Dude… leave us out of this, OK? You want to attack Christians, knock yourself out. No need to insult us along with them.

Where do you think Jesus was from? Kansas?

[Sicks_Ate]

@elucidator

Where do you think Jesus was from? Kansas?

Actually…it’s all starting to make sense, now…

[elucidator]

Texas, sure. Kansas, no way.

[silenus]

Both are disqualified.

In Kansas you can’t find 3 wise men.
In Texas you can’t find a virgin.

[BrainGlutton]

@Alessan

Dude… leave us out of this, OK? You want to attack Christians, knock yourself out. No need to insult us along with them.

On Judgment Day Og will hold the Jews to account for one wicked and abominable collective sin, one anti-Semites never seem to mention: You gave birth to both Christianity and Islam! :mad: Yes, you did, don’t try to disown them!

[Alessan]

@BrainGlutton

On Judgment Day Og will hold the Jews to account for one wicked and abominable collective sin, one anti-Semites never seem to mention: You gave birth to both Christianity and Islam! :mad: Yes, you did, don’t try to disown them!

Oh, please. You might as well blame Roddenberry for all the crappy Star Trek fanfic.

[BrainGlutton]

@Alessan

Oh, please. You might as well blame Roddenberry for all the crappy Star Trek fanfic.

And why not? He should have known what he was starting . . .

[Ulf_the_Unwashed]

@Darth_Panda

Very well played. I once did a presentation on misplaced modifiers in law school; good times.

Do you mean:

“When I was in law school, I did a presentation on misplaced modifiers”

or

“I once did a presentation on misplaced modifiers and their role or appearance in law schools”

??

[Darth_Panda]

@Ulf_the_Unwashed

Do you mean:

“When I was in law school, I did a presentation on misplaced modifiers”

or

“I once did a presentation on misplaced modifiers and their role or appearance in law schools”

??

Go highlight my whole post

[John_Mace]

@silenus

Both are disqualified.

In Kansas you can’t find 3 wise men.
In Texas you can’t find a virgin.

Obviously, the 3 wise men came from the east-- Missouri.