# Tom DeLay Is Going to Bite It! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 12, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665 "2004-07-12T04:40:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/21 "2004-07-12T16:00:33Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > No, but if they can get their shit together, the Texas Democratic Party can make an awful lot of hay out of it. And if pigs could fly . . . Also, somebody please reassure me that **gobear** has actually seen _Office Space_. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/22 "2004-07-12T16:15:13Z")
> [@minty green](#): > > And if pigs could fly . . . > > Also, somebody please reassure me that **gobear** has actually seen _Office Space_. Sounds like _someone_ has a case of the Mondays. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/23 "2004-07-12T16:25:59Z")
**elucidator** , your career on this board has been long and storied. But this: > [@](#): > > Tom DeLay (R-Undead) is the funniest thing you’ve ever written. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/24 "2004-07-12T17:36:19Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > Marion Berry, former Mayor of Washington DC, served time in the Federal prison in Petersburg, VA. I can’t comment on his ass-pounding, as I was not there to witness it, but I suspect the opportunity presented itself more than once. Armed with knowledge of new ways to suck up to his constituents, Berry was elected mayor again following his prison term. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/25 "2004-07-12T17:38:14Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > Armed with knowledge of new ways to suck up to his constituents, Berry was elected mayor again following his prison term. I can’t believe I wasted my 1,000th post on Marion Berry. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/26 "2004-07-12T18:36:19Z")
> [@minty green](#): > > And if pigs could fly . . . Yeah, I know. But I can still dream, can’t I? Robin ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/27 "2004-07-12T19:06:57Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > I can’t believe I wasted my 1,000th post on Marion Berry. Bitch set you up! ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/28 "2004-07-12T19:10:31Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Could someone spell out what this is all about for someone (like, um, me) who doesn’t follow politics? > > Is the gist that he bribed an ethics committee? Or something? Basically extortion. He’s been hitting up companies (like [Westar"](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41568-2004Jun14.html)) for “donations” in return for access. This is in addition to the Enron stuff, where he was using corporate donations to help in his redistricting efforts (I’m not sure exactly how the money was used for this) to ensure that he would remain elected. He’s guilty and should be booted. Hard. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/29 "2004-07-12T19:11:15Z")
> [@zut](#): > > Bitch set you up! 😃 No doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/30 "2004-07-12T19:19:25Z")
> [@zut](#): > > Bitch set you up! Goddamn… ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/31 "2004-07-12T19:22:23Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > What’s wrong, Lassie? What is it? Is it Tom DeLay? Has he fallen down a well, while screwing the pooch? Has that political pustule finally pushed his luck a little too far? Is it time to put on our gloating shoes, and our _schadenfruedian_ slip! > > Those of you without short term memory issues may remember a conversation we were having, about whether or not the Bushiviks were in any kind of serious trouble. And I said watch Tom DeLay, he’s got a bit of trouble brewing. > > Congresscritters are a feral breed, pack hunting and savage. If they smell that the future belongs to the Bushiviks, they will continue to cringe before Tom DeLay (R-Undead). But if they smell blood in the water, they will turn him on, and rend asunder. > > (You might not remember all of this, you might just remember the feeling of being profoundly impressed by my sagacity, probity, and insight. Perfectly understandable.) > > Well, looks like Ol’ Tom has dangled his Nixon in the piranha pool, one time too many. > > [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43219-2004Jul11.html](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43219-2004Jul11.html) > > "In May 2001, Enron’s top lobbyists in Washington advised the company chairman that then-House Majority Whip Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) was pressing for a $100,000 contribution to his political action committee, in addition to the $250,000 the company had already pledged to the Republican Party that year. > > DeLay requested that the new donation come from “a combination of corporate and personal money from Enron’s executives,” with the understanding that it would be partly spent on “the redistricting effort in Texas,” said the e-mail to Kenneth L. Lay from lobbyists Rick Shapiro and Linda Robertson…" > > “…The e-mail, which surfaced in a subsequent federal probe of Houston-based Enron, is one of at least a dozen documents obtained by The Washington Post that show DeLay and his associates directed money from corporations and Washington lobbyists to Republican campaign coffers in Texas in 2001 and 2002 as part of a plan to redraw the state’s congressional districts…” > > Can’t do that, Tom, even in Texas, there are limits. Not many, but there are some. > > [Kingston Trio] > _Hang down your head Tom De-Lay > Hang down your head and cry > Hang down your head Tom De-Lay > Poor boy, you’re bound to bite it…"_ > > OK, a bit much, but this is _such_ a hoot! > > See, before looked like he could brazen it out, since four of the members of the Ethics Committee are beholden to him… > > [http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/politics/2674446](http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/politics/2674446) > > "Four of the five Republicans investigating an ethics complaint against House Majority Leader Tom DeLay have received campaign contributions from DeLay’s political action committee, records show. > > The contributions – $28,504 split among the four during the past seven years – were all delivered before the ethics committee received the DeLay complaint June 15. But it is an example of awkward situations spawned by the U.S. House’s decision to police itself on ethics…" > > “Awkward” is such a good word for that context, don’t you think? > > So, you have a paper trail of money donated by civic-minded corporados in furtherance of Mr. DeLays efforts to restore virtue and honor to Texas politics (though perhaps “restore” isn’t quite the word…) Which is expressly forbidden under Texas campaign finance laws. Receipts. Fingerprints. _las pistolas del smokado_ > > And to top it all off, like a poisoned maraschino cherry atop a turd sundae…it was Enron money! Kenny Boy and His Merry Band of Creative Entrepreneurs! > > So now we’ll see. If the band of craven and corrupt political whores sniffs the wind, and senses that the Bushiviks coat-tails might not be the most advantageous position, they will chop him into Congressional chum so fast he won’t know what hit him. They will vote him off the island, they will feed him to the wolves, they will put him on hold. > > Conversely, if they think that the _real_ clout, and their main chance, lies with the Jacobite Republicans, they will diddle, they will dawdle, hem and haw. They will form committees to investigate the prospect of a possible maybe, with a report due out no later than 2007. > > I think he’s toast. Like minded persons (you know who you are) are invited in for a good cold cup of gloat. Ol Tom’s about to be cored and buggered, Turkish style, and it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy! Better schadenfreudian :rolleyes: than scheissenbedauern : 😃 ---
**Author:** ![spectrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@spectrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spectrum)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/32 "2004-07-12T20:33:44Z")
> [@edwino](#): > > I’m a few miles from his district. Chris Bell is my current rep (the guy who brought up the last round of ethics inquries, although he’s on his way out because of redistricting). > > Even though I’m out of his district, even though I’m a cash-strapped student, I have good mind to write [Richard Morrison](http://www.richardmorrisonfordistrict22.com/) a check for $50. It is tossing my money away, but a man can dream, no? I don’t even live in Texas, and I sent Morrison $50. But partly because I may end up in Texas, as that’s where the best-looking job offer for the boyfriend appears to be coming from. But mostly because DeLay is a real creep. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/33 "2004-07-12T20:50:55Z")
> [@Mojo](#): > > Basically extortion. He’s been hitting up companies (like [Westar"](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41568-2004Jun14.html)) for “donations” in return for access. This is in addition to the Enron stuff, where he was using corporate donations to help in his redistricting efforts (I’m not sure exactly how the money was used for this) to ensure that he would remain elected. > > He’s guilty and should be booted. Hard. Oooh, “extortion”! That sounds much better than “bribe.” I like it! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/34 "2004-07-12T20:57:38Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > I can’t believe I wasted my 1,000th post on Marion Berry. A thousand posts in only two years!? :eek: Good lord, get a life. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/35 "2004-07-12T21:07:35Z")
> [@Denis](#): > > Well, sheeit. That was supposed to be 😃 Actually, I liked the first one better. Check it out: :d Looks like you’re lickin’ your chops. Who wants to vote on a new smiley? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/36 "2004-07-12T21:29:11Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > A thousand posts in only two years!? :eek: Good lord, get a life. 😃 That’s all? Only 500 posts per year? I joined in June 2003 and I’ve got… :: opens new window; checks post in [Does Teresa Heinz Kerry speak English?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=265840&page=1)thread :: 3710 posts before I hit Submit. **This Year’s Model** isn’t even in our league, **Lib** (Nov. 1999), O ye of the 16,598-and-counting posts. 😛 Life? What’s a life, and why should I get one, anyway? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665/37 "2004-07-13T03:01:47Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > A thousand posts in only two years!? :eek: Good lord, get a life. 😃 I’ve got a want ad in the paper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-delay-is-going-to-bite-it/254665.md?page=1)