# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")
The rules: 1. No looking them up elsewhere - just what’s between your ears, or what you can make up. 2. One per post. Kicking things off… “The Royal Navy’s seizure of American sailors was a major cause of the War of 1812,” Tom said impressively. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2 "2013-07-10T01:14:37Z")
“I’ve dropped the toothpaste!” said Tom, crestfallen. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3 "2013-07-10T01:50:04Z")
My favourite: “I make work surfaces for kitchens,” Tom said counterproductively. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/4 "2013-07-10T01:51:05Z")
I have no idea if this is original but how about: “That Australian burger tasted rather odd,” said Tom ruefully. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/5 "2013-07-10T02:16:15Z")
“I do not care for Daniel Day Lewis’ acting,” said Tom, methodically. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/6 "2013-07-10T02:29:58Z")
“I’ve lost my flower,” said Tom, lackadaisically. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/7 "2013-07-10T02:31:44Z")
“I’ve plaited my hair!” Tom brayed. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/8 "2013-07-10T02:49:18Z")
“I love the time after sunrise,” said Tom, mournfully. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/9 "2013-07-10T02:53:36Z")
“I can’t believe I’m going to drown, right here in Cairo,” Tom said in denial. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/10 "2013-07-10T03:03:23Z")
“I wish I had a BB gun,” Tom said lackadaisically. “Darn power saws,” Tom said offhandedly. And my all time champeen fave… “Coming, Mother!” Oedipus ejaculated blindly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/11 "2013-07-10T03:05:34Z")
“Well, I didn’t expect the JM Barrie play to end like _that_,” said Tom, deadpan. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/12 "2013-07-10T03:50:11Z")
“I can’t take the exam; my pencil is broken,” said Tom, pointlessly. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/13 "2013-07-10T04:01:31Z")
“I withdraw the statement,” Tom exclaimed. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/14 "2013-07-10T04:07:51Z")
“I drive a 20-year-old Chevy,” said Tom, cavalierly. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/15 "2013-07-10T04:11:24Z")
“My favorite beers are from Oregon,” Tom said roguishly. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/16 "2013-07-10T04:22:36Z")
“I’ve got lots of dish detergent,” Tom said joyfully. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/17 "2013-07-10T04:25:13Z")
Okay, I just made these up. “This beer was made with too many hops!” Tom said bitterly. “My former girlfriend was always quoting from Wikipedia,” Tom said excitedly. “I’m a big fan of open source software,” Tom admitted freely. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/18 "2013-07-10T04:39:18Z")
“I caught a great white shark!” Tom said superficially. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/19 "2013-07-10T06:26:05Z")
“I’m likely to be eaten by a grue,” said Tom, darkly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/20 "2013-07-10T07:49:43Z")
“Rounding up cattle with an airplane is really scary,” whispered Tom, terrified of being overheard. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=2)