# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/181 "2013-07-13T17:11:11Z")
“Who’s that trip-trapping over my bridge?” Tom said gruffly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/182 "2013-07-13T22:25:48Z")
“That Cecil Adams sure is a mine of information,” said Tom dopily. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/183 "2013-07-13T22:40:39Z")
“I’ve finished changing the light bulbs,” said Tom brightly. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/184 "2013-07-13T22:43:50Z")
“I studied the writings of Carl Jung,” said Tom, archetypically. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/185 "2013-07-13T23:40:42Z")
“I’ll show you who’s ambidextrous,” Tom rightly said. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/186 "2013-07-14T00:59:57Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > 1."I am going to kill House by slicing him into little tiny pieces for telling me ‘it’s never lupus,’ said Tom, gregoriously. > > 2.“I’ve written a sequel to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s most famous work” said Tom fandomly. > > 3.“I really miss some of our dear, departed Dopers” said Tom, highopally. See the OP - one per post, please. “Alec Baldwin, Nicole Kidman and Bill Pullman have _never_ made a good movie together!” Tom said maliciously. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/187 "2013-07-14T01:29:31Z")
“I think my magazine subscription expired” said Tom lifelessly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/188 "2013-07-14T01:29:31Z")
“I have the greatest respect for Sigmund Fraud,” Tom slipped. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/189 "2013-07-14T11:44:01Z")
“I used to love that cartoonist who did Bloom County! What was his last name again?” Tom breathed. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/190 "2013-07-14T11:53:59Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > See the OP - one per post, please. Plus, you know, not inventing adverbs out of thin air. “It’s like a file, but for woodworking,” Tom rasped. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/191 "2013-07-14T12:22:22Z")
“Only a German would talk like that about the woman who raised him,” Tom muttered. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/192 "2013-07-14T14:33:38Z")
“I really, really, really want to hear 'What’s New Pussycat,” said Tom, Jonesing. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/193 "2013-07-14T14:42:50Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > “I used to love that cartoonist who did Bloom County! What was his last name again?” Tom breathed. “I heard Mike Peters is very ill,” Tom said grimly. ([Mother Goose and Grimm - Wikipedia](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Goose_and_Grimm), for those unfamiliar with Peters. As far as I know, he’s not really sick.) ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/194 "2013-07-14T14:54:22Z")
“Who lost the brain transplant?” the surgeon asked absentmindedly. ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/195 "2013-07-14T15:14:11Z")
“I’m taking you to my place, and we’re going to have sex,” Tom told his date cocksuredly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/196 "2013-07-14T15:16:12Z")
“Zeroes! Ha, ha, ha, all those sexy zeroes!” laughed Tom naughtily. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/197 "2013-07-14T15:31:55Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > “Who lost the brain transplant?” the surgeon asked absentmindedly. ETA: Couldn’t get back in to correct that I’d left out the _Tom_ part. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/198 "2013-07-14T15:52:22Z")
“There goes democracy,” Tom said devotedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/199 "2013-07-14T16:43:05Z")
“I’ve been reading a great book about Shackleton and Antarctic exploration!”, Tom said expeditiously. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/200 "2013-07-14T16:52:56Z")
“Get \*all \*the water out of this boat!” Tom said balefully. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=11)