# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 100
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1981 "2014-04-18T16:48:04Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > 😕 there’s a beer grolsch, ISTR–it’s in a tall bottle? (is that it?) A growler is a [half-gallon bottle of beer](http://www.beeradvocate.com/articles/384/). Used extensively here in Portland but seems to be an accepted term among homebrewers all over. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1982 "2014-04-18T17:22:51Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > So foreign languages can play? Oh boy… “Certainement!” said Pierre in a oui voice. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1983 "2014-04-18T17:40:23Z")
“Where are those pledges we told to run naked through campus?” said Tom hazily. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1984 "2014-04-18T17:48:14Z")
“Which species of songbird was that?” Tom tweeted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1985 "2014-04-18T18:09:02Z")
“That was no mere _song_bird!” Tom crowed. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1986 "2014-04-18T19:40:56Z")
“I told you I could swallow a live duckling,” said Tom, down in the mouth. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1987 "2014-04-18T20:10:10Z")
“I’m not satisfied I’m done here in Tripoli Harbor. I’m going to capture the Barbary ruler himself!” said Lt. Stephen Decatur, seizing the Dey. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1988 "2014-04-18T20:26:40Z")
“Look…Jesus has returned!” said Mary, enraptured. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1989 "2014-04-18T21:58:32Z")
“Luuuucy…you better tell me what happened” said Ricky splenetically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1990 "2014-04-18T22:16:24Z")
“That movie made my hair stand on end,” said Tom, shocked. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1991 "2014-04-18T22:19:07Z")
“I wish the newspaper would dump that hoary comic strip about the old lady who’s always meddling in others’ affairs” Tom said worthlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1992 "2014-04-18T22:27:24Z")
“I just think these colors are really oversaturated,” said Tom tonelessly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2014, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1993 "2014-04-21T14:42:28Z")
“I have my brothers to thank for this lovely jacket,” said Joseph, colorfully. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1994 "2014-04-21T15:59:00Z")
“I really did not enjoy that experience on Calvary one little bit”, said Jesus, crossly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1995 "2014-04-21T16:44:54Z")
“I finally solved the problem of amplifying light by stimulating the emission of radiation!” said Tom, beaming. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1996 "2014-04-21T16:50:37Z")
“Bet you didn’t think I’d eat the rest of that radioactive gazelle carcass, the one the lions couldn’t finish!” said Tom, glowing with pride. ---
**Author:** ![Waymore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Waymore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waymore)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1997 "2014-04-22T03:28:02Z")
“I just finished the most fascinating book on Manifest Destiny,” Tom said expansively. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1998 "2014-04-22T13:03:48Z")
“That long letter isn’t worth the paper it’s written on” Tom said dismissively. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/1999 "2014-04-22T13:17:03Z")
“We’ll need a new base of operations now that our old one has been overrun by the enemy” said Captain Wilton Parmenter effortlessly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2000 "2014-04-22T13:20:41Z")
“If you incompetents don’t have OS X working properly by tomorrow, you’re all fired!” said Steve, with the patience of Job. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=99) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=101)