# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 105
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2082 "2014-04-27T18:40:29Z")
“I’ll show Mom! I’m gonna get a Sharpie and put a whole bunch of black dots all over this wall” said Tommy, in pointed remarks. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2083 "2014-04-27T18:44:29Z")
“I finally got the baby calmed down” said Tom, settling the issue. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2084 "2014-04-28T02:19:34Z")
“Hey, who knocked this window out?” said Tom, feeling no pain. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2085 "2014-04-28T02:22:52Z")
“He shot that lady’s butt right off” said Tom, witness to a disaster. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2086 "2014-04-28T02:28:36Z")
“I don’t care what you say, I’m not taking the SATs” Tom testified. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2087 "2014-04-28T02:53:17Z")
“Get Mussolini out of here!” Tom deduced. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2088 "2014-04-28T03:10:26Z")
“You know, Louis, you really should think about disposing of your lab waste in a more eco-friendly manner” said Tom, seeking greener pastures. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2089 "2014-04-28T03:17:26Z")
“The late 30s, when Desi was courting his future wife, were interesting ones” Tom elucidated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2090 "2014-04-28T17:09:19Z")
“Just because we’re French doesn’t mean we can’t have a street gang too” said Pierre, in the spirit of bonhomie. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2091 "2014-04-28T17:11:13Z")
“I put one over on Ethel that time” said Fred convivially. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2092 "2014-04-28T17:14:19Z")
“That film was a bit below the highest standards” Tom berated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2093 "2014-04-28T18:39:45Z")
“I don’t give a damn about proper punctuation it’s all very silly and anal to me too many people make too big a deal out of it in conclusion I say the hell with it” said Nigel without stopping. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2094 "2014-04-28T18:44:35Z")
“Your sexual come-ons have no effect on me” said Tom, crossing his T’s. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2095 "2014-04-28T18:48:47Z")
“I’m an excellent old-time banjo player” said Tom, acknowledging his frailties. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2096 "2014-04-28T19:00:02Z")
“I’ve had enough of this fleshy appendage on the side of my head! I’m cutting it off!” said Van Gogh, endearingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2097 "2014-04-28T19:27:13Z")
“I’m the man who really killed Dr. Richard Kimball’s wife” said Tom, disarmingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2098 "2014-04-28T20:53:38Z")
“Dammit! Why can’t people clean up after their dogs?” said Tom, bowing and scraping. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2099 "2014-04-28T20:59:34Z")
“My wife and I were sexually active throughout our marriage” said Tony Martin insidiously. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2100 "2014-04-29T01:36:16Z")
"I don’t know the answer to that question, so here’s my guess at it … "said Tom waggishly. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2101 "2014-04-29T02:15:24Z")
“Would you do it if I made you a vindaloo?” asked Tom, in an attempt to curry favor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=104) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=106)