# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 107
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2014, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2122 "2014-05-01T23:13:18Z")
“This vegetable garden would look nice surrounded by a shrubbery,” said Tom, hedging his beets. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2123 "2014-05-03T15:24:41Z")
Askance, see post x, where I got the same. He is good, though. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2124 "2014-05-03T17:23:19Z")
“What is it with all the bloomin’ killjoys in this thread?” said Tom, looking askance. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2125 "2014-05-03T18:43:07Z")
“Maybe I should fill this thread with helium-filled cows,” said Tom, lightening the mood. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2014, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2126 "2014-05-04T05:28:58Z")
“And this, ladies and gentlemen, is our highest-quality straitjacket” said Tom, demonstrating great restraint. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2014, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2127 "2014-05-04T05:40:32Z")
“I count exactly 27 films that were made by the original German Shepherd movie star” Tom tintinnabulated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2014, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2128 "2014-05-04T06:32:04Z")
“Come in, my son!” said Tom, admitting his heir. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2129 "2014-05-04T20:53:26Z")
“Instead of trying to carry this old commode down from the third floor, let’s just take it to a window and use a block and tackle” said Tom, lowering his standards. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2130 "2014-05-05T04:19:12Z")
“Oh no…not another song from Emmylou!” said Tom, weary of the harassment. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2131 "2014-05-05T04:24:10Z")
“The spring thaw always turns these roads into a cratered mess” Tom chuckled. ---
**Author:** ![Waymore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Waymore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waymore)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2132 "2014-05-05T04:53:36Z")
“My great-grandfather went to school with famous football coach Lombardi,” Tom said convincingly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2133 "2014-05-05T05:39:42Z")
“Hey man, you gonna pass that joint or what?” asked Tom, dubiously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2134 "2014-05-05T05:40:19Z")
“Spare change? Spare change so I can go see Jerry tonight?” Tom deadpanned. “Here you go. I hope they do my favorite song” a passerby said truculently. “Thanks, man!” Tom said gratefully. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2135 "2014-05-05T12:57:41Z")
“I hate it when the doctor looks down my throat” said Tom, in awe. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2136 "2014-05-05T12:59:45Z")
“OK, I’ll help you tie this guy up and stuff a sock in his mouth” said Tom, in on the gag. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2137 "2014-05-05T14:23:31Z")
“May I remind you that yesterday was Star Wards day?” asked Tom, forthrightly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2138 "2014-05-05T16:01:55Z")
“What ghastly experiment will they conduct on me now?” said the bacterium, petrified. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2139 "2014-05-05T16:12:19Z")
“I know where someone is building a secret outhouse” said Tom, privy to the plot. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2140 "2014-05-05T18:58:49Z")
“We’ve finally located the exact spot where the subject put a gun to his head and blew his brains out” said the coroner, at last finding peace of mind. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2141 "2014-05-05T19:20:33Z")
“Does anyone recall which name the Romans gave to Zeus,” asked Tom, jovially. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=106) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=108)