# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/201 "2013-07-14T16:57:37Z")
“From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee,” Tom wailed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/202 "2013-07-14T17:07:10Z")
“I’m not going to tell you if I like Campbell’s soups,” Tom said cannily. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/203 "2013-07-14T17:09:49Z")
“What? Me worry?” said Tom madly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/204 "2013-07-14T17:26:31Z")
“I like taking pictures of people when they’re least expecting it,” Tom said candidly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/205 "2013-07-14T21:41:32Z")
“I keep getting hit on the head with a drumstick,” said tom. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/206 "2013-07-14T21:45:36Z")
“Look, a Shetland pony!” said Tom, a little hoarsely. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/207 "2013-07-15T02:01:29Z")
“I think I really understand Type 8 and Type 0 ICMP packets now!” said Tom grippingly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/208 "2013-07-15T02:06:37Z")
“I think I look great, and now I’m gonna do something totally awesome!” Tom said vaingloriously. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/209 "2013-07-15T02:49:58Z")
Squatting with his spoon and bowl, “Who the heck” Tom asked infuriatingly, “skinned the rabbit for the soup?” ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/210 "2013-07-15T02:52:06Z")
“The coffee maker’s broken.” Tom groaned inexpressively. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/211 "2013-07-15T02:56:02Z")
“What happened to the organ?” Tom cried inconsolably. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/212 "2013-07-15T03:17:57Z")
“I think I’d like to replace this cedar paneling with a different wood,” Tom opined. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/213 "2013-07-15T03:41:46Z")
“I just got really bad news from my urologist,” Tom said impotently. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/214 "2013-07-15T12:17:47Z")
“I need some mustard and relish,” said Tom frankly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/215 "2013-07-15T12:19:14Z")
" ," said Tom inaudibly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/216 "2013-07-15T12:32:27Z")
“My ancestors came over on the Mayflower,” said Tom compactly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/217 "2013-07-15T12:42:11Z")
“You call that music? It was like listening to nothing!” said Tom cagily. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/218 "2013-07-15T13:08:21Z")
“I’ve built a ship that is unsinkable,” said Tom, titanically. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/219 "2013-07-15T14:05:35Z")
“I know just what I’d do if I were the top dude in the Catholic Church,” Tom pontificated. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/220 "2013-07-15T14:50:49Z")
“I wonder when the store will stock more chewing tobacco?”, said Tom expectorantly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=12)