# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 110
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2182 "2014-05-08T12:10:20Z")
“Maybe I love 1950s bi-monthly comic-book horror anthologies and maybe I don’t,” Tom said cryptically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2183 "2014-05-08T13:18:38Z")
“But I prefer 1920’s-style scientifiction, with death rays”, said Hugo Gernsback, amazingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2184 "2014-05-08T14:03:02Z")
“From this day forward, I promise to clean up my language” said Tom, reversing course. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2185 "2014-05-08T14:10:13Z")
“OK, Mark, you’re our starting pitcher for tonight’s game” said the Blue Jays’ manager amidst all the hurly-burly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2186 "2014-05-08T14:42:44Z")
“I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday” said Tom wimpishly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2187 "2014-05-08T15:14:45Z")
“Uh-oh…here come the townspeople with their pitchforks” said Frankenstein’s monster, bolting from the scene. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2188 "2014-05-08T15:47:39Z")
“I came in first place on _The Voice_” said Tom sanguinely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2189 "2014-05-08T18:21:04Z")
“I am \*not \*of the litter-bearing gender of my species, a small burrowing mammal like the shrew”, said Tom, malevolently. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2190 "2014-05-08T18:38:03Z")
“No man can tame me!” said Kate, shrewdly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2191 "2014-05-08T18:46:08Z")
“I’m here for my penis transplant” said John Bobbitt ridiculously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2192 "2014-05-08T18:49:20Z")
“Aw, all dames are the same” said Tom, broadly speaking. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2193 "2014-05-08T20:49:16Z")
“That’s the second time all of my hair has fallen out” Tom said ribaldly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2194 "2014-05-08T20:54:43Z")
“That Bajoran ensign on ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ had a mighty fine rack”, said Tom, robustly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2195 "2014-05-09T05:17:28Z")
“And furthermore, I would like to add that…\” said Tom, talking his head off. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2196 "2014-05-09T05:44:06Z")
“Move all of the prisoners to the lower floors,” ordered the warden, condescendingly. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2197 "2014-05-09T09:23:19Z")
“The word for a certain Welsh cheese is totally different from the adverb relating to paying special attention!” Tom carefully spelled out. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2198 "2014-05-09T13:35:00Z")
“Sex with my wife was amazing” said Brad Pitt ingenuously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2199 "2014-05-09T13:38:22Z")
“I love ya, ya big gorilla” said Ann Darrow in a fey voice. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2200 "2014-05-09T14:07:57Z")
“It’s certainly true that a ball club may have a great record for most of the season but then falter down the stretch” Tom said cantankerously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2201 "2014-05-09T14:19:10Z")
“This frock just doesn’t look good on me. I’m going to change into a pinafore instead” said Thomasina, looking for redress. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=109) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=111)