# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 112
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2222 "2014-05-12T05:04:27Z")
“Alex & Geddy formed the band; Neil didn’t join until years later,” said Tom, while in a rush. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2223 "2014-05-12T12:53:18Z")
“We sawyer ignorance of Rush’s history on display again” Tom remarked. “Well, as I’ve stated in online music forums many times over the years, that’s because I really can’t stand them” DChord568 riposted. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2224 "2014-05-12T13:25:33Z")
“How do you expect me to shift over 10,000lb of rock?” asked Joss 5tonily. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2225 "2014-05-12T13:32:03Z")
“Arkansas has approved same sex marriage,” said Tom, gaily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2226 "2014-05-12T14:59:20Z")
“Please bend over the examining table while I put on a rubber glove”, said Dr. Tom, probingly. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2227 "2014-05-12T16:15:41Z")
“I don’t really like Google, but I do use Microsoft’s search engine. Which one do you like?”, said Tom, probing. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2228 "2014-05-12T16:24:44Z")
"Ditziness is a defining personality characteristic of Leonard’s fiancée on ‘The Big Bang Theory’ ", said Tom, penetratingly. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2229 "2014-05-12T16:55:26Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > "Ditziness is a defining personality characteristic of Leonard’s fiancée on ‘The Big Bang Theory’ ", said Tom, penetratingly. One of the best yet! “These new electronic photographs are AWESOME!” said Tom epicly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2230 "2014-05-12T17:04:39Z")
I thought it was strained, but thanks! “I have always preferred the young man who marries Jane to any other character in _Pride and Prejudice_”, said Tom, pro-Bingley. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2231 "2014-05-12T18:06:34Z")
“Regardless of how much our emissions are polluting the atmosphere, I just want to make as much money as possible” said the industrialist, adopting a laissez-faire policy. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2232 "2014-05-12T18:08:27Z")
“I have to admit, I’ve put on a lot of weight recently” said Tom ambiguously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2233 "2014-05-12T18:15:52Z")
“My nephew Pierre thinks I’m a real doozy” said Françoise, who was a bit of a dilettante. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2234 "2014-05-12T20:16:12Z")
“I’ve built a prosthesis in my workshop” said Tom, re-arming himself. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2235 "2014-05-12T20:19:43Z")
“As near as I can tell, these are watercraft of some kind” said Tom with a sense of foreboding. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2236 "2014-05-12T23:46:53Z")
“This tree seems to have died,” said Tom, with a withering glance. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2237 "2014-05-13T00:32:27Z")
“Maybe the tree will bloom when warm weather returns,” said Tom, with a spring in his step. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2238 "2014-05-13T11:09:53Z")
“I don’t see why you have referred to my letter in a Jamaican accent”, said Tom dismissively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2239 "2014-05-13T13:01:46Z")
“I like to put on my re-enactor’s Confederate uniform and pick out tunes on my Hawaiian stringed instrument”, Tom rebuked. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2240 "2014-05-13T13:26:44Z")
“I wish just one of those ‘increase your penis size’ products was legit” said Tom longingly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2241 "2014-05-13T13:36:10Z")
“But they don’t work,” said Tom, coming up short. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=111) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=113)