# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 113
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2242 "2014-05-13T13:45:59Z")
“I’ll disguise myself as a nun as I prowl the streets of London” said the werewolf, a creature of habit. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2243 "2014-05-13T13:55:36Z")
“I’ll show my ex-girlfriend! I’m gonna pull a Van Gogh and then mail her the result” said Tom, boxing his ear. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2244 "2014-05-13T13:56:55Z")
“I know why you’re stocking up on condoms,” Tom said penetratingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2245 "2014-05-13T14:03:31Z")
“I may be a very simple graphic file, but I still want my day in court” said the plaintiff. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2246 "2014-05-13T15:27:36Z")
“I dreamed I was being swallowed by a monster from space”, said Tom, alienated. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2247 "2014-05-13T15:42:05Z")
“I wish Mussolini would return to govern Italy” said Tomasso, reduced to Fascism. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2248 "2014-05-13T17:11:24Z")
“With this heavy rain, the dry riverbed is filled and flowing again”, said Tom, recurrently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2249 "2014-05-13T17:20:28Z")
“I’m gonna kick that damn dog right in the ass” said Garfield odiously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2250 "2014-05-13T17:21:41Z")
“We need to make this quilt twice as soft and warm as it is now” said Tom, doubling down. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2251 "2014-05-13T17:23:53Z")
“Time to fry this murderer in the electric chair”, said the executioner, concurrently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2252 "2014-05-13T17:31:28Z")
“Construction of a new state prison will begin at this site shortly” said the governor, creating a stir. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2253 "2014-05-13T18:43:55Z")
“Who ever heard of a talking dog?” sneered Tom cursedly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2254 "2014-05-13T18:55:47Z")
“I don’t root for the Dodgers or the Giants…I’m an Athletics supporter” Tom said jocularly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2255 "2014-05-13T19:02:15Z")
“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die”, said Goldfinger, focusing like a laser on the economy. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2256 "2014-05-13T20:34:50Z")
“All of the newspapers, magazines, etc. that we used to have on those tiny cards can now be viewed online,” the librarian said efficiently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2257 "2014-05-13T20:46:07Z")
“Though my margin of victory in the popular vote was slim, I still beat Henry Clay handily in the Electoral College” said James Polk, powdering his wig. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2258 "2014-05-13T20:50:06Z")
“This is the prisoner who casually tossed his cigarette on the ground” said the guard, conflicted. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2259 "2014-05-14T05:12:37Z")
“Although I’m just a roomer at this house, I have my own private telephone” said Tom, making a borderline call. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2260 "2014-05-14T05:15:34Z")
“Jeez, put your shoes back on…the stench is overpowering!” said Tom, sensing defeat. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2261 "2014-05-14T05:22:22Z")
“I don’t like the arrow that appears on-screen when I move my mouse around” said Tom after a cursory investigation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=112) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=114)