# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 115
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2282 "2014-05-15T14:58:22Z")
“OK, son, I’ll help you with your multiplication homework” said Tom, knowing that times are tough. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2014, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2283 "2014-05-15T15:36:59Z")
“That puppeteer who appeared with Kukla and Ollie had a facial tremor, did you ever notice?” asked Tom, frantically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2014, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2284 "2014-05-15T18:37:18Z")
“At the spa today, I did something impulsively to that hunky guy who works on me that I may regret” said Mary masochistically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2285 "2014-05-15T18:45:54Z")
“This tavern reeks of stale beer and cigarette smoke” Tom said instinctively. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2286 "2014-05-15T20:07:17Z")
“We can’t let that crazy black guy do his routine in front of this audience!” said the emcee, exercising prior restraint. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2287 "2014-05-16T02:00:03Z")
“I fear I may have a bad case of halitosis” said Tom, living hand-to-mouth. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2288 "2014-05-16T13:23:30Z")
“That stripper really took her time before she finally took off her top” said Tom, titillated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2289 "2014-05-16T14:08:22Z")
“PHEW!! PHEW!! Damn, I was hoping to set a new world’s record for holding my breath” said Tom, defeated by his own aspirations. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2290 "2014-05-16T16:08:19Z")
“I’m so stressed I’m going to have to ride the moving staircase up to the next floor to cool off”, said Tom, escalating tensions. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2291 "2014-05-16T16:23:25Z")
“I’m really getting into making this ditch”, said Tom, digging it. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2292 "2014-05-16T18:01:28Z")
“I can’t stand not knowing if my sewing supplies store is going to succeed”, said Tom, on pins and needles. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2293 "2014-05-16T19:40:55Z")
“This new piece of furniture I’ve designed for the dining room fuses the essential components into one unit” Tom said charitably. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2294 "2014-05-16T20:00:43Z")
“But if only I could get the pieces together properly - damn these Swedish instructions” Tom said, wrenchingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2295 "2014-05-16T20:02:25Z")
“Look, it’s easy…Tab A, Slot B” Mary inserted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2296 "2014-05-16T20:17:34Z")
“Can’t do it - that tab is not present on this part”, said Tom, agonized. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2297 "2014-05-16T20:47:08Z")
“Wow…not only that, I can’t find the slot either” Mary bemoaned. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2298 "2014-05-17T17:22:09Z")
“I figured out how to get it together another way”, said Tom, rivetingly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2299 "2014-05-17T19:14:44Z")
“I know…I’ll buy a trenchcoat!” said Tom, with a flash of inspiration. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2300 "2014-05-18T18:33:48Z")
“Boy, The Indians really stink this year” said Tom, slumping in the cellar. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2301 "2014-05-18T18:36:20Z")
“Phew! Time for some Right Guard there, buddy” Tom said pitifully. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=114) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=116)