# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 116
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2302 "2014-05-18T18:50:48Z")
(Younger Dopers won’t get this!) “When I turned on the TV early this morning, all I saw was a weird circle with an Indian chief in it” said Tom, sensing a pattern. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2303 "2014-05-19T12:04:44Z")
“That little Swiss girl turned into quite the slut, didn’t she?” Tom heidi-ho’d. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2304 "2014-05-19T17:08:25Z")
“The Laotian communist guerrillas were a nasty bunch”, said Tom, pathetically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2305 "2014-05-19T17:28:12Z")
“Let me get my Pilgrim hat on and I’ll get right to it”, said Myles Standish, buckling down to work. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2306 "2014-05-19T17:40:48Z")
“To the guillotine, Marie Antoinette!” said the peasants, revoltingly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2307 "2014-05-19T18:26:49Z")
“I like…typing…three periods…in a row…” said Tom, elliptically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2308 "2014-05-19T20:13:44Z")
“You’re giving Conway all the funny scenes, Carol. If we don’t start getting more, we’re going on strike” said Vickie, Harvey and Lyle timorously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2309 "2014-05-19T20:19:33Z")
“What’s the rush?” said Angel merrily. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2310 "2014-05-19T21:00:17Z")
“Put the prisoner in the isolation tower and double the number of personnel watching him” said the warden, holding him in high regard. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2311 "2014-05-20T04:33:06Z")
“Wow, buzzing around the dinner table is a lot of fun” said the housefly, on a roll. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2312 "2014-05-20T04:35:10Z")
“Well, your eyes are too beady, your nose is too big and your mouth is crooked” said Tom, doing an about face. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2313 "2014-05-20T05:20:53Z")
“Data, La Forge, Dr. Crusher and Counselor Troi…prepare to beam down to the planet’s surface with me” said Captain Picard euphorically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2314 "2014-05-20T14:37:24Z")
“If I sneak into the tent next to mine, maybe I can steal some of their insect repellant” said Tom, a little off his game. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2315 "2014-05-20T14:46:06Z")
“OK, who puked all over the place?” said Tom, dealing with something that just came up. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2316 "2014-05-20T14:58:44Z")
“That’s it. I’ve had enough of your Swifties, Mr. 568!”, said Tom, striking a chord. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2317 "2014-05-20T15:23:54Z")
“Ow! I can’t help it if I have a bent for Swifties” said DChord, his nose out of joint. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2318 "2014-05-20T17:40:45Z")
“Ow, think I just separated my shoulder,” said Tom, disjointedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2319 "2014-05-20T20:10:07Z")
“I know the reason for my facial tremor”, said Tom, caustically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2320 "2014-05-20T20:28:41Z")
“When it comes to sailboats, I’ve got the coolest one around” said Tom hypnotically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2321 "2014-05-20T20:37:12Z")
“For instance, I earned my college tuition by working as a bootblack” said Tom, a shining example. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=115) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=117)