# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 117
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2322 "2014-05-20T20:41:41Z")
“I can play acoustic stand-up, electric, five-string, six-string and fretless” said Tom, covering all the bases. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2323 "2014-05-21T16:00:08Z")
“Abra-cadabra” said the magician, pulling his hare out. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2324 "2014-05-21T16:08:57Z")
“I will do all I can to prevent my country from following this disastrous course” said the ambassador with determination. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2325 "2014-05-21T17:28:35Z")
“Shhh! Don’t make a sound, and don’t answer the door. We’ll pretend we’re not home” said Tom, acting out. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2326 "2014-05-21T18:36:30Z")
“Mr. Dionne, your kids were all drunk down at the bar, so I threw them in the paddy wagon and brought them home to you” said the Mountie, giving him a high five. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2327 "2014-05-21T19:20:30Z")
“I’m glad I finally got past all the rows of Civics here in the Honda dealer’s lot. They’re just too small for me” said Tom, reaching an accord. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2328 "2014-05-21T21:02:11Z")
“OK, Mac, hand every one of 'em over…Visa, MasterCard, Discover, American Express” said the mugger, taking all the credit. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2329 "2014-05-22T03:18:27Z")
“Those old newsreels really were great,” said Tom, pathetically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2330 "2014-05-22T03:23:24Z")
Tom wrote a SQL query to find out the name of the second movie. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2331 "2014-05-22T03:25:50Z")
“I’m going to need to examine your colon”, said Dr. Tom, in orbit around Uranus. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2332 "2014-05-22T03:28:48Z")
“You can’t go out of the house naked, Suzie”, Tom addressed his daughter. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2333 "2014-05-22T03:30:11Z")
“I know how to cause a major drought”, Tom said, drinking Canada Dry. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2334 "2014-05-22T03:34:52Z")
“I never mail cats to the United Arab Emirates”, Tom said normally. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2335 "2014-05-22T03:35:53Z")
“I’m not wearing pants today”, Tom said, skirting the issue. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2336 "2014-05-22T03:39:24Z")
“I’m the leader of the Catholic Church”, Tom pontificated. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2337 "2014-05-22T03:43:21Z")
“I’m going to give fifty dollars”, Tom granted. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2338 "2014-05-22T03:48:16Z")
“I don’t like President Obama’s policies”, Tom said niggardly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2339 "2014-05-22T03:49:40Z")
“This hotel is creepy”, Tom said, with bated breath. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2340 "2014-05-22T03:53:06Z")
“I need to find a peasant to fix my wrinkled trousers”, King Tom said repressingly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2341 "2014-05-22T03:55:42Z")
“I’m going to move to Baton Rouge”, Tom said, sticking up for himself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=116) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=118)