# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 118
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2342 "2014-05-22T03:56:43Z")
> [@DChord568](#): > > “I will do all I can to prevent my country from following this disastrous course” said the ambassador with determination. “I know how we can get rid of Bill in the mailroom”, Tom said with determination. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2343 "2014-05-22T04:00:07Z")
“The prisoners are posting inflammatory media online”, Tom said controllingly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2344 "2014-05-22T04:02:11Z")
“How did we end up on the West Side?”, Tom blurted out accidentally. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2345 "2014-05-22T04:56:10Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > “This hotel is creepy”, Tom said, with bated breath. “I don’t need worms when I go fishing,” Tom said, with baited breath. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2346 "2014-05-22T15:06:01Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > “I’m not wearing pants today”, Tom said, skirting the issue. “Don’t forget to observe ‘National No Underwear Day’” Tom commanded. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2347 "2014-05-22T15:07:47Z")
“Let’s pull a prank on that Scotsman” said Tom, off kilter. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2348 "2014-05-22T15:10:13Z")
“I see London, I see France” Tom snickered. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2349 "2014-05-22T18:32:59Z")
“We’re at an intersection of two hiking trails but don’t know which to take. Let’s try to make a decision rationally”, said Tom, pathologically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2350 "2014-05-22T19:50:56Z")
“I’ve figured out the answer to life, the universe, and everything”, Tom announced fortuitously. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2351 "2014-05-22T19:52:42Z")
“We need control of the cannons on that hill”, Tom speculated generally. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2352 "2014-05-22T19:53:52Z")
“I’m going to enlist in the Army”, Tom decided privately. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2353 "2014-05-22T19:54:53Z")
“We sold our other Honda”, Tom and Ann announced with one accord. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2354 "2014-05-22T19:55:54Z")
“Marijuana ought to be legal”, complained Tom chronically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2355 "2014-05-22T19:59:23Z")
“At least I got all the pins down in two tries”, Tom boasted, sparing no offense. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2356 "2014-05-22T20:03:35Z")
“Ms. Dickinson was one of the larger lady poets of her era”, Tom lectured emphatically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2357 "2014-05-22T20:20:50Z")
“Nay, it be not possible that I would have the opportunity to court thee, Lady Ann, for I am already betrothed unto a maiden of my home town who arriveth on the morrow”, Tom said in very dated language. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2358 "2014-05-22T20:23:08Z")
“Wait, you didn’t put any condiments on this hot dog!”, Tom screamed, having mustered his strength to catch up to the vendor’s cart. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2359 "2014-05-22T20:28:21Z")
“A raven _is so_ like a writing desk”, Tom noted, flatly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2360 "2014-05-22T20:31:53Z")
“Welcome to Berlin”, Tom announced germanely. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2361 "2014-05-22T20:37:11Z")
“Pirates are allowed to dock here”, Tom arbitrated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=117) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=119)