# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/221 "2013-07-15T15:16:46Z")
“I wonder who shall come after me,” said Elendil airily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/222 "2013-07-15T15:25:01Z")
“I’ll never take on any more bar bets”, said Tom, with a frog in his throat. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/223 "2013-07-15T16:35:18Z")
“Why don’t you put this in the collection plate?” Tom offered. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/224 "2013-07-15T16:47:45Z")
“It’s just an ordinary Idaho,” said Tom the commentator. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/225 "2013-07-15T16:55:27Z")
“These fish taste so bad, they might as well be oversized goldfish!”, Tom carped. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/226 "2013-07-15T17:02:05Z")
“A glass of Chardonnay would be too much to ask?” Tom whined. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/227 "2013-07-15T17:16:42Z")
“Those unmanned aircraft are coming right at us,” Tom droned on. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/228 "2013-07-15T17:50:42Z")
“Soon I won’t be eight anymore,” said Tom benignly. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/229 "2013-07-15T17:56:48Z")
“Bzzzz Bzzzzz Bzzzzz,” bespoke Tom. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/230 "2013-07-15T18:21:59Z")
“I love visiting St. Louis”, Tom said archly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/231 "2013-07-15T18:27:34Z")
“OK, we’ll go - but only for 20 minutes!” said Tom, trenchantly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/232 "2013-07-15T18:30:33Z")
“Mariana, bring the 1920’s death ray,” said Tom, tropily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/233 "2013-07-15T18:59:51Z")
“This WD-40 stuff really frees up my rusty nuts”, said Tom penetratingly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/234 "2013-07-15T18:59:57Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “I wonder who shall come after me,” said Elendil airily. 😉 > [@Colophon](#): > > “OK, we’ll go - but only for 20 minutes!” said Tom, trenchantly. Sheer brilliance. :: golf clap :: “I guess I should’ve worn work gloves,” Tom said blisteringly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/235 "2013-07-15T19:23:51Z")
“Umph! Umph! Umph!”, said Tom triumphantly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/236 "2013-07-15T19:25:15Z")
“These quizzes all have the wrong scores,” Tom remarked. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/237 "2013-07-15T19:32:27Z")
“I’m renting out space at the marina,” Tom let slip. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/238 "2013-07-15T19:33:59Z")
“I have such intense orgasms!” Tom said compassionately. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/239 "2013-07-15T19:35:03Z")
“I no longer have such intense orgasms,” Tom said out of compassion. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/240 "2013-07-15T19:52:47Z")
“I’m saving myself for marriage”, said Tom inscrutably. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=13)