# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 122
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2422 "2014-06-01T00:40:07Z")
“We need to process his will again”, Tom said reprobately. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2423 "2014-06-01T00:50:58Z")
“Scammers use our computers to distribute malware”, Tom said, giving them the straight dope. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2424 "2014-06-01T01:03:27Z")
“I think someone kidnapped my ten year old daughter”, Tom stated mistakenly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2425 "2014-06-01T01:07:29Z")
“In this style? Ten and six.” Tom said, mad as a hatter. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2426 "2014-06-01T01:09:20Z")
“I don’t think this series converges if you make all the terms positive”, Tom conditionally asserted. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2427 "2014-06-01T01:17:01Z")
“Here’s the lingerie your wife ordered”, Tom said, giving him the slip. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2428 "2014-06-01T01:25:58Z")
“You’re going to kiss me _when_?” Tom complained, not recognizing it as a valid DateTime. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2429 "2014-06-01T01:31:17Z")
“I crashed trying to make a right turn in Montreal”, Tom said maladroitly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2430 "2014-06-01T01:39:06Z")
“Yes, I actually am a communist”, Tom said with a red face. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2431 "2014-06-01T02:18:53Z")
“That was a great way to get me to join the Royal Navy”, Tom said, impressed. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2432 "2014-06-01T17:54:38Z")
“OK, Randi…I’ll help put together a fundraising event for the Skeptics Society” said Tom, giving him the benefit of the doubt. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2433 "2014-06-01T18:06:52Z")
“Every time around the board, I always land on this same damn square” said Tom, taking another chance. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2434 "2014-06-01T18:27:38Z")
“I’m mixing up a batch of my own secret formula for the black stuff I paint beneath my eyes on game day” said Nolan Ryan, making his pitch. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2435 "2014-06-01T19:31:21Z")
“I hate laundry day,” said Tom, throwing in the towel. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2436 "2014-06-02T00:57:19Z")
“I’m happy to share my philosophical insights with anyone who’ll listen” the donkey said brazenly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2437 "2014-06-02T01:04:32Z")
“These high-tech falsies actually react to changes in temperature” said Mary, emphasizing her points. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2438 "2014-06-02T01:10:01Z")
“Ow, I stepped on a Slinky!” said Tom, with a spring in his step. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2439 "2014-06-02T01:28:57Z")
“Dammit, you better not botch that mandolin solo again, or next time I’ll use my fist” said Jimmy Seals in slap-dash fashion. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2440 "2014-06-02T01:34:47Z")
“Shit! The spare’s flat…now what do we do?” said Tom tirelessly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2441 "2014-06-02T01:37:29Z")
“And now the Indians’ center fielder steps into the batter’s box” said Herb Score, manning up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=121) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=123)