# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 125
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2483 "2014-06-04T14:04:50Z")
“We can’t leave the detonation of this bomb to a bunch of amateurs” said Tom profusely. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2484 "2014-06-04T14:09:23Z")
“I going to see Miss Daisy” said Tom, drivingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2485 "2014-06-04T15:58:44Z")
“I’ve invited the world’s sharpest satiric writers to this party tonight” said Tom, gathering his wits about him. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2486 "2014-06-04T17:42:52Z")
“Crikey! I can’t believe the entire team has come to the football field, yet no one remembered to bring a ball” said Nigel, who had nothing to kick about. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2487 "2014-06-04T18:54:26Z")
“Girls! Girls! No need to fight over me…you can take turns giving me a blow job” said Tom, turning the argument on its head. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2488 "2014-06-04T22:42:14Z")
“Turn your head and cough,” the proctologist told Tom, probingly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2489 "2014-06-04T23:50:08Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “But I love going into Los Angeles”, said the pilot, in a lax tone. “Landing at JFK at night is pretty wild”, Tom said, idly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2490 "2014-06-04T23:51:25Z")
“Can we stop arguing about my chest?” Tom implored abstrusely. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2491 "2014-06-04T23:53:23Z")
“I love it when the pitcher misses the plate area!”, Tom said, having a ball. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2492 "2014-06-05T03:34:03Z")
“At last I’ve found a partner” said the monocle, making a spectacle of himself. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2493 "2014-06-05T03:51:07Z")
“Hi, Jack. Nice to see you and Grace hanging out together,” said Will, messing with him. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2494 "2014-06-05T04:05:37Z")
“This is the express elevator to the 50th floor” said Tom upliftingly ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2495 "2014-06-05T04:07:57Z")
“The first Hanna-Barbera television cartoon series was a little rough” Tom said readily. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2496 "2014-06-05T05:20:17Z")
“Here’s your order, sir…two $5 foot longs” said Tom subserviently. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2497 "2014-06-05T06:53:35Z")
“Lord, thank you for this food we are about to eat,” prayed Tom, gracefully. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2498 "2014-06-05T14:18:01Z")
“It would be a boring world if every man’s cock was exactly the same size” said Mary, all things being equal. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2499 "2014-06-05T14:29:16Z")
“I think this new hairstyle I’ve created will be very flattering for you, Lucifer” said Mary, giving the devil his due. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2500 "2014-06-05T14:30:44Z")
“This challah bread is really, really crusty” said Tom, clownishly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2501 "2014-06-05T14:37:56Z")
“I might develop some strong feelings for her in the future, but it hasn’t happened yet” said Tom precariously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2502 "2014-06-05T14:43:04Z")
“I realize you’re getting tired of playing the Wesley character, so if you like I’ll let you out of your contract early” said Gene Roddenberry, making a free will offering. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=124) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=126)