# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 127
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2014, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2523 "2014-06-08T19:19:44Z")
“Ah, there’s the bug spray…whoa, this room is a mess!” Said Tom, picking up where he left off. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2524 "2014-06-08T21:54:23Z")
“That song sounds like a wimpy ballad from the 70s” said Tom, a little iffy. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2525 "2014-06-09T00:17:30Z")
“I’m seeing a tooth-care specialist in that big office building in Boston”, Tom said, prudently. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2526 "2014-06-09T03:42:41Z")
“I find that George Will’s columns vary greatly in quality” said Tom operatically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2527 "2014-06-09T03:46:30Z")
“The deserted island was devoid of any game, so we had to subsist entirely on seagulls we could capture” said Tom alternately. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2528 "2014-06-09T03:58:56Z")
“Damn, I feel like I’m getting a case of the crabs” said Tom licentiously. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2529 "2014-06-09T17:10:56Z")
“Now look, ump, my third baseman’s just a little upset. There’s no need to eject him from the game” said the Mariners’ manager, driving a wedge between them. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2530 "2014-06-09T17:24:50Z")
“Look, gravity, if we can get nuclear to go along with us, we can rule the universe” said electromagnetism, combining forces. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2531 "2014-06-09T17:27:14Z")
“Wow, these dryer sheets really work!” said Tom ecstatically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2532 "2014-06-09T18:15:05Z")
“It was a great surprise to me to find that the girl I took out last night was a lesbian” said the Dutch boy, who put his finger in the dike. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2533 "2014-06-09T18:32:09Z")
“It’s time for your rectal exam” Dr. Tom said, butting in. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2534 "2014-06-09T19:40:35Z")
“Now, turn your head and cough,” said Dr. Tom, in a ballsy mood. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2535 "2014-06-09T19:46:05Z")
“Commander Riker is not fully materializing. He must be stuck in the transporter beam” said Captain Picard, by force of sheer will. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2536 "2014-06-09T19:48:02Z")
“Yes! He finally got lost in the pattern buffer!” said Chief O’Brien, beaming. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2537 "2014-06-09T19:52:06Z")
“Wait! Don’t leave me here!” said Riker, energized. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2538 "2014-06-09T19:52:23Z")
“Maybe that was Number One’s plan all along” said Picard, seeing right through him. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2539 "2014-06-09T19:54:33Z")
“This could be a metaphor for my entire role in this series” said Riker, largely immaterial. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2540 "2014-06-09T19:58:13Z")
“I just want the entire incident to be over” said Riker, weary of the fracas. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2541 "2014-06-10T13:25:21Z")
“Let’s be unanimous in our criticism of the type of flower Mary chose for this bed” said Tom, inviting disaster. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2014, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2542 "2014-06-10T13:35:05Z")
“I keep each of my doobies in its own plastic container” said Tom, casing the joint. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=126) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=128)