# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/241 "2013-07-15T20:11:08Z")
“We’d better hide the American Beauties”, said Tom sub rosa. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/242 "2013-07-15T20:13:48Z")
“Those cannibals sure can whip up a good stew,” Bing said hopefully. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/243 "2013-07-15T20:15:06Z")
“I just got a spam for Syrup of Ipecac”, Tom said ad nauseum. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/244 "2013-07-15T22:22:03Z")
“God dammmit,” Euty cussed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/245 "2013-07-16T01:34:59Z")
“I’m so happy I saw where the U.S. hockey team won its Winter Olympics gold medal in 1980,” Tom said placidly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/246 "2013-07-16T11:53:41Z")
"Mr. Frodo, you shouldn’t trust that Gollum, said Sam wisely. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/247 "2013-07-16T15:26:28Z")
“I’ve developed a systemic method of kindness for tonight,” Tom said plangently. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/248 "2013-07-16T15:41:14Z")
“I’m certain we’re out of those conifers!” Tom opined. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/249 "2013-07-16T15:50:49Z")
“I finished reading _Gulliver’s Travels_ in under an hour”, said Tom swiftly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/250 "2013-07-16T16:14:23Z")
“Someday I hope to digitize the eldest son from _The Brady Bunch_,” Tom said egregiously. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/251 "2013-07-16T16:18:42Z")
“Which one of you guys is Edward?” Tom hooted. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/252 "2013-07-16T16:22:40Z")
“I’m coming already!” Tom ejaculated. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/253 "2013-07-16T16:31:19Z")
“My paranasals feel all full!”, Tom insinuated. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/254 "2013-07-16T16:35:10Z")
“I’ve got a thing for the 12th letter of the Greek alphabet,” Tom mewed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/255 "2013-07-16T16:41:55Z")
“I sure hope my date and I can get into this crazy-popular restaurant tonight,” Tom said unreservedly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/256 "2013-07-16T16:44:37Z")
“You can never, ever, ever have too much parmesan,” said Tom gratingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/257 "2013-07-16T16:51:59Z")
“Woo! I am masturbating like a mother fuck!”, Tom ejaculated. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/258 "2013-07-16T16:53:29Z")
“I was referring to Ms. Forlani, not Ms. Danes or Ms. Holt,” Tom clarified. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/259 "2013-07-16T17:15:34Z")
“I understand it all now,” said Tom comprehensively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/260 "2013-07-16T17:16:17Z")
“I’m giving up the gold prospecting business”, Tom exclaimed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=14)