# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 132
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2623 "2014-06-18T16:58:10Z")
“All these keyboard puns are harming me; I wonder if I can erase some of them?” wondered Tom, deleteriously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2624 "2014-06-18T17:03:31Z")
“Let me add one more thing to that list”, Tom inserted. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2625 "2014-06-18T17:23:06Z")
“I’ve been cast as Richard Petty — one of the biggest characters in the history of motor sports — in an upcoming movie” said Tom, playing the race card. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2626 "2014-06-18T17:35:18Z")
“When we sent out the living room and bedroom curtains for dry cleaning, we had to temporarily hang big trash bags over the windows for privacy” said Tom, glad all over. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2627 "2014-06-18T18:00:58Z")
“When I played this scene, I tried to give it a little Atticus Finch slant” said Tom, feeling a bit peckish. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2628 "2014-06-18T18:05:37Z")
> [@DChord568](#): > > “When I played this scene, I tried to give it a little Atticus Finch slant” said Tom, feeling a bit peckish. “Well, I did my scene as if I were the guy who played Tyler Durden from _Fight Club_” said Tom, pitifully. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2629 "2014-06-18T18:50:36Z")
“The female lead in _Sunset Boulevard_ gives a bravura performance” said Tom, noting that it was her glorious swan song. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2630 "2014-06-18T19:31:22Z")
“The guy who played Batman is serious about his craft - I heard he’s been overeating to gain weight for his next role, in which he plays an evil character”, said Tom, balefully. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2631 "2014-06-19T14:57:04Z")
“I don’t want to live in the tropics. I like having seasons”, Tom said, intemperately. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2632 "2014-06-19T14:58:24Z")
“I am angry beyond belief at all these people publicly saying they’re homosexuals”, Tom said, outraged. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2633 "2014-06-19T15:25:34Z")
“This building was assembled from parts of old Soviet jets”, Tom explained. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2634 "2014-06-19T15:26:34Z")
“I’m taking over the government!” Tom cooed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2635 "2014-06-19T15:29:22Z")
“Hey, I’m missing all my aggies, tigers, and swirlies!” said Tom, losing his marbles. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2636 "2014-06-19T15:31:28Z")
“That former jailbird we hired for that short-term position just can’t get to work on time”, Tom contemplated. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2637 "2014-06-19T18:26:10Z")
“This photo of Mary Ann in a bikini with just a little bit of her ass showing really turns me on” said Tom, up at the crack of dawn. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2638 "2014-06-19T18:28:22Z")
“I’m sharing a cup of coconut milk with my favorite drinking buddy, Mr. Howell”, said Gilligan, with a thurst on. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2639 "2014-06-19T18:29:37Z")
“I liked that Chevy hybrid so much I bought a second one” said Tom revoltingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2640 "2014-06-19T19:25:35Z")
“I prefer gasoline-only subcompacts”, said Tom, being civic-minded. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2641 "2014-06-19T20:07:54Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “I prefer gasoline-only subcompacts”, said Tom, being civic-minded. “But small American cars can also be nice”, Tom added, trying to focus on value. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2642 "2014-06-19T20:10:16Z")
“I should never have flown over the airbase”, Tom confessed, taking a lot of flak. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=131) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=133)