# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 133
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2643 "2014-06-19T23:49:42Z")
“Maybe we can get the prisoners to design this for us” Tom contemplated. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2644 "2014-06-20T09:54:12Z")
“I never smooth timber these days,” Tom explained. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2645 "2014-06-20T13:21:15Z")
“I finally left the rainy part of Spain”, Tomas explained. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2646 "2014-06-20T15:07:23Z")
“I thought Jill Hennessy was the best of the assistant D.A.'s on _Law and Order_” Tom clarified. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2647 "2014-06-20T19:06:25Z")
“Dammit, the TV’s on the blink again”, said Tom, invidiously. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2648 "2014-06-20T19:57:47Z")
“I’d rather go back to Japan”, Tom said, feeling disoriented. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2649 "2014-06-20T20:35:30Z")
“Hand me that sponge” said Tom aloofly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2650 "2014-06-20T21:56:48Z")
“If I ever encounter that Gates fellow I’ll kick him in the ass for coming up with such a shitty operating system” said Tom, footing the bill. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2651 "2014-06-20T22:02:43Z")
“That bit with the androgynous person that was on _Saturday Night Live_? Worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life” said Tom, who couldn’t stand pat. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2652 "2014-06-20T22:12:31Z")
“As soon as we reached the Mississippi Delta, I was able to escape my kidnappers by sprinting away from them” said Tom, running off at the mouth. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2653 "2014-06-20T22:15:35Z")
“I couldn’t find my rifle’s laser attachment no matter where I looked, but my wife found it right away. I had walked right past it several times!” said Tom, sight unseen. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2654 "2014-06-23T16:33:32Z")
“I think it makes sense to put this thing on top of that thing,” said Tom, ontologically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2655 "2014-06-23T21:04:52Z")
“Goll-ee, Sarge…my cousin Goober says he’s gonna join our unit too” said Gomer, piling on. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2656 "2014-06-23T21:25:43Z")
“We’re being overrun by the French Army!” Tom said with a lot of gall. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2657 "2014-06-23T21:28:32Z")
“I’m a Parisian formic”, Tom said gallantly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2658 "2014-06-23T21:31:31Z")
“Eventually I’ll enjoy watching Mary breathe like a dog,” said Tom, trying to get into her pants. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2659 "2014-06-23T21:37:08Z")
“It contains HIO4”, Tom reminded us periodically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2660 "2014-06-23T21:39:03Z")
“Let me put your brains back in”, Tom reminded us. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2661 "2014-06-24T01:05:53Z")
“I can run really fast on these prosthetic blades”, said Oscar Pistorius, with a spring in his step. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2662 "2014-06-25T16:11:39Z")
“I’m changing my name because of an incident that happened to me while traveling to Damascus”, Saul said, appalled. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=132) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=134)