# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 134
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2663 "2014-06-25T16:28:45Z")
“There’s a nifty new anti-flashlight function you can download on your smartphone to make the room actually get _darker_”, said Tom, appalled. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2664 "2014-06-25T16:29:59Z")
“And there’s another one to let you get all the latest musings from Bush’s political director”, Tom approved. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2665 "2014-06-25T16:43:51Z")
“Five stars, everyone who has a smartphone should download this!” Tom said, applauding. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2666 "2014-06-25T16:53:26Z")
“Really? Tell me more, I’m listening”, Tom appeared to say. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2667 "2014-06-25T17:21:59Z")
“Help, Jones! You gotta come along again, even if this is just a Coasters song! Salty Sam is tying me up again!” yelled Sweet Sue, on the rebound. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2668 "2014-06-25T18:34:31Z")
“I can choose from a selection of virtual doobies on my iPhone” said Tom, an approachable sort. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2669 "2014-06-25T18:42:43Z")
“I can even get one that helps me hold onto things”, said Tom, apprehensively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2670 "2014-06-26T12:47:43Z")
“And here’s a download that makes my smartphone resound like a set of carillon bells”, Tom said, appealingly. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2671 "2014-06-26T18:23:21Z")
“The outcome was close, but I won the farting contest!” said Tom, on the cutting edge. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2672 "2014-06-26T18:26:50Z")
“I don’t care if you’re the greatest pitcher of all time, you’re outta here!” said the umpire, heaving a sigh. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2673 "2014-06-26T18:29:02Z")
“I have some stuff we can use to put those posters up”, Tom mentioned tactfully. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2674 "2014-06-26T18:32:59Z")
“Damn! This recording of ‘Hey Jude’ I was about to play slipped out of my hand and shattered on the floor” said the radio station DJ, upsetting the apple cart. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2675 "2014-06-26T18:35:55Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > “I have some stuff we can use to put those posters up”, Tom mentioned tactfully. “Several SDMB members are spending the night at my place” said Tom, putting the posters up. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2676 "2014-06-26T20:21:23Z")
“I can’t think of a Swiftie for ‘putting up with their shit’, but maybe **DChord568** can,” said **ElvisL1ves** , posting up his man on the court. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2677 "2014-06-27T02:03:19Z")
“I’ll say it yet again: I can fix your engine better than anyone else,” Tom said mechanically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2678 "2014-06-27T04:11:47Z")
“I have to admit it…I’m a bit of an egotist” said the daredevil, giving him the evil eye. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2679 "2014-06-27T04:15:17Z")
“Your commute to and from the Capitol Building will be much safer now” said the mechanic, inserting a page break. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2680 "2014-06-27T04:28:50Z")
“I have a piece of mirror permanently embedded in my cornea” said Tom, with a twinkle in his eye. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2681 "2014-06-27T13:41:54Z")
“Let’s light a couple of joss sticks to set the mood” said Tom insensitively. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2682 "2014-06-27T13:49:36Z")
“My business is supplying fake steers to the annual event in Pamplona” said Tom, his life in shambles. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=133) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=135)