# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 138
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2743 "2014-07-09T16:41:29Z")
“Maybe we could sell some commercial spots to pawn shops”, Tom speculated ad hoc. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2744 "2014-07-09T16:47:00Z")
“Next on the docket is Lenny Bruce v. One Earthquake, Birds and Snakes, and an Aeroplane”, Tom said, announcing a case in rem. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2745 "2014-07-09T18:02:56Z")
“Follow me and take a look at how overgrown this stand of trees has become. I predict you’ll want to take action right away” said Tom, comme ci, comme ça. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2746 "2014-07-09T18:08:06Z")
“I have an entire studio full of pencil sketches that I never can seem to finish” said Tom, drawing no conclusions. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2747 "2014-07-10T04:35:10Z")
“Here in the U.S., we rise for the ceremonial playing of the National Anthem before every baseball game” said Tom, standing up for his rites. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2748 "2014-07-10T13:11:58Z")
“I went to see the Stones show last night, and man, it really sucked!” said Tom disconcertedly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2749 "2014-07-10T14:14:06Z")
“I’m voting Romney in 2016!”, Tom admitted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2750 "2014-07-10T16:16:05Z")
“There is nothing wrong with the overflow housing at my prison”, said Sheriff Arpaio, contentedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2751 "2014-07-11T00:19:15Z")
“Poor Rover lost all four legs in that tragic power-mower accident”, said Tom, dogmatically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2752 "2014-07-11T13:34:36Z")
“In this war zone, with bullets flying all the time, pretty soon ducking at the sound of gunfire becomes instinctual” said Tom diplomatically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2753 "2014-07-11T14:59:27Z")
“This open bottle of Coke has been sitting out for so long that mold is growing in it” said Tom, making a pop culture reference. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2754 "2014-07-11T17:56:03Z")
“It’s anybody’s guess what could be stopping this toilet up” said Tom, plunging into the unknown. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2755 "2014-07-15T13:42:15Z")
“As we begin the Ulcer Sufferers Association’s annual banquet, let us raise a glass to our good health” said Tom in a milquetoast manner. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2756 "2014-07-15T13:45:32Z")
“That regular high school didn’t work out for me, so I’ve transferred to one where I can learn a useful trade”, Tom invoked. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2757 "2014-07-15T15:22:49Z")
“No, Sandy Duncan isn’t here yet. I’ll let you know when she gets here” said Tom, keeping an eye out for her. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2758 "2014-07-15T23:22:52Z")
“They may plunge me into this hot oil, but I’ll still maintain my shape” said the onion, battered but unbroken. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2759 "2014-07-16T00:01:04Z")
> [@DChord568](#): > > “This open bottle of Coke has been sitting out for so long that mold is growing in it” said Tom, making a pop culture reference. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2760 "2014-07-17T13:33:08Z")
“Now that my boyfriend has retired from baseball, we have a lot more time for sex” said Taylor Higgins, feeling chipper. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2761 "2014-07-17T14:23:17Z")
“I just can’t seem to draw as fast as Cecil’s cartoonist”, said Tom, sluggishly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2762 "2014-07-17T14:35:31Z")
“This is the best vodka I’ve ever drunk” said Tom, absolutly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=137) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=139)