# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 141
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2014, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2803 "2014-08-25T04:22:44Z")
“It’s so lovely sitting here under this citrus tree”, said Tom, sublimely. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2804 "2014-08-26T00:22:54Z")
“This new carpeting can be played like a musical instrument!” Tom announced dramatically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2805 "2014-08-26T00:24:39Z")
“Will someone give this parrot something to drink?” Tom sung polytonically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2806 "2014-08-26T00:26:27Z")
“I’m building the Great Cone of Hollywood.” Tom announced laconically. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2807 "2014-08-26T00:29:12Z")
“Tomorrow, I’ll do more research on the effects of lead exposure” Tom said on the way home from the pub. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2808 "2014-08-26T00:30:40Z")
“Minoan civilization sucks!” Tom murmured discretely. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2809 "2014-08-26T00:33:24Z")
“Rural women from Serbia better be hot!” Tom said, going to Belgrade. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2810 "2014-08-26T00:40:58Z")
“The shape of that old 90’s compact car is really interesting”, Tom said, showing me some interesting geometric principles. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2811 "2014-08-26T00:43:20Z")
“Interestingly enough, sudden death statistics for Colorado are much higher today than they were last year”, Tom commented diachronically. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2812 "2014-08-26T18:16:18Z")
“Maybe this desensitizing cream will help me avoid premature ejaculation” said Tom anticlimactically. ---
**Author:** ![MsKaren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@MsKaren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsKaren)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2813 "2014-08-31T03:00:26Z")
“What an interesting message board,” said Tom dopily. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2814 "2014-09-03T15:42:07Z")
“Damn, I shouldn’t have spilled chocolate in my tuba”, Tom complained cacophonously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2014, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2815 "2014-09-03T15:49:55Z")
“Look at the hail damage on my car - two dents here, three there, five more over there …” said Tom, tendentiously. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2816 "2014-09-05T03:06:11Z")
“Toronto Dominion bank offers better rates.” Tom commented tediously. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2817 "2014-09-05T03:11:28Z")
“Our maid quit this morning.” Tom complained helplessly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2818 "2014-09-05T03:13:37Z")
“This carpet is sharp enough to cut wood”, Tom observed axiomatically. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2819 "2014-09-05T03:40:21Z")
“But at least the carpet is thick and luxurious”, said Tom, piling on. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2820 "2014-09-05T14:25:51Z")
“I’ve invented a spermicide that inhibits the spread of venereal disease” said Dr. Tom, but it was just a lot of claptrap. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2821 "2014-09-05T14:38:31Z")
“I pinned that former football player turned actor in a charity wrestling match” said Tom charismatically. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2822 "2014-09-05T14:42:02Z")
“When I leave the house, I bid my pet mice farewell in their own language” said Tom, squeaking by. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=140) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=142)