# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 142
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2823 "2014-09-05T14:46:37Z")
“Oh, all right already…I’ll go with you guys on your spelunking expedition” said Tom, caving in to their demands. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2824 "2014-09-05T15:27:40Z")
“Joan is dead,” screamed Tom, while crying rivers. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2825 "2014-09-05T18:45:41Z")
“Mom? Mom? Where are you?” cried Melissa, calling her on the carpet. (Even though I didn’t particularly like her, R.I.P. Joan.) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2826 "2014-09-09T14:39:08Z")
“Mommy, my butt hurts”, Tom assailed. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2827 "2014-09-09T19:06:49Z")
“Who knew that ghosts could be so damn heavy?” said Tom, lifting his spirits. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2014, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2828 "2014-09-10T05:01:54Z")
“Don’t sit down while I’m speaking to you, private!” shouted the drill instructor. Tom stood, corrected. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2829 "2014-09-11T15:30:52Z")
“Iris and I hung out last night, and we really had a blast” said Tom fundamentally. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2830 "2014-09-11T15:43:39Z")
“Now Fran, now Ollie…let’s talk this over” said Kukla with a burr in his voice. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2831 "2014-09-11T15:51:10Z")
“We must promote solar and wind energy and reduce our dependence on fossil fuels” said Tom, his ideas coalescing. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2832 "2014-09-11T17:25:32Z")
“It took me seven years, but finally, I’ve graduated from high school!” said Tom, diplomatically. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2833 "2014-09-19T23:21:19Z")
“I really wish we could go to a luau”, Tom said poignantly. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2014, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2834 "2014-09-20T00:26:41Z")
“Did I ever tell you about the cannibal feminist who would only eat famous Chinese martial artists?” said Tom, deliberately. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2835 "2014-09-28T01:31:52Z")
“Some words just don’t allow for good puns”, said Tom, lugubriously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2836 "2014-09-28T13:38:52Z")
“Even though we have to have a label, we shall carry on,” Tom said GAMEly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2837 "2014-12-03T19:32:08Z")
“Here are the steps that were used to set up the Internet”, Tom explained algorithmically. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2838 "2014-12-04T02:32:14Z")
“Clinton’s vice president used to run with the bulls every spring,” Al gored. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2839 "2014-12-04T02:47:59Z")
“That’s not a fish!” Tom wailed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2840 "2014-12-04T03:28:38Z")
“Sorry, looks like that’s just a big dolphin”, said Tom, porpoisefully. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2841 "2014-12-04T03:46:43Z")
“I used to play cards all the time,” Tom sighed whistfully. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2842 "2014-12-04T04:24:17Z")
“Call me Ishmael,” said the narrator, having a whale of a time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=141) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=143)