# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 143
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2843 "2014-12-04T15:12:38Z")
“And then, I decided to learn a non-Indo-European language”, Tom finished. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2844 "2014-12-04T15:14:50Z")
“This new plan to hide our drugs on the beach is great!”, Tom concluded. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2845 "2014-12-05T00:41:37Z")
“I suppose you dropped the last of the LSD,” Tom said acidly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2846 "2014-12-05T01:11:27Z")
“I’ve just had a frontal lobotomy,” said Tom absent-mindedly. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2014, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2847 "2014-12-08T15:49:29Z")
“I swam with the sharks,” said Tom disarmingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2848 "2014-12-08T21:05:29Z")
“I’m finally fixing the carillon in the old church tower”, said Tom, rebelliously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2849 "2014-12-08T21:33:58Z")
“Is there any time limit when a thread becomes a zombie?” Tom asked, brainlessly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2850 "2014-12-10T18:53:22Z")
“This cemetery business I bought into hasn’t been profitable lately”, said Tom with grave concern. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2851 "2014-12-13T15:20:42Z")
“Well, I didn’t vote for the new Ayatollah”, Tom pshawed. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2852 "2014-12-13T20:27:04Z")
“I will not go to see any movie, or even buy any products from it, that makes more money for Disney,” said Tom, frozenly. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2014, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2853 "2014-12-16T16:09:27Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I will not go to see any movie, or even buy any products from it, that makes more money for Disney,” said Tom, frozenly. “On second thought, Disney movies aren’t actually that bad,” Tom said, letting it go. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2854 "2014-12-30T17:17:46Z")
“I’m sick of cleaning up plane wrecks,” Tom said, feeling a bit of malaise. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2015, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2855 "2015-01-02T21:00:03Z")
“I’ve bought every book written by Stephen King and will read them all in 2015,” said Tom, carrying a heavy load. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2015, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2856 "2015-01-02T22:45:32Z")
“I break it every year,” said Tom irresolutely. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2857 "2015-01-08T02:27:57Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “I’ve bought every book written by Stephen King and will read them all in 2015,” said Tom, carrying a heavy load. “Although one I had to steal,” Tom said, taking a Stand. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2858 "2015-01-08T05:15:26Z")
“And I absolutely refuse to read the one with the evil clown” said Tom, still not getting it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2859 "2015-01-10T16:00:46Z")
“Even though I bought it for an extremely small amount, because it is such a heavy book,” said Tom, being pennywise and pound foolish. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2860 "2015-03-05T15:17:06Z")
“They are hexagonal crystals of dihydrogen monoxide,” Tom mentioned icily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2861 "2015-03-05T15:42:33Z")
“If the President does it, that means it is not illegal”, said Nixon, Frostily. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2015, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2862 "2015-03-06T00:01:42Z")
“Hey, is this thread even in the right forum?” said Tom, with moderation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=142) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=144)