# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 145
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2883 "2017-07-26T02:10:42Z")
“I’m going to study business at Oxford,” Tom said. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2884 "2017-07-26T02:22:10Z")
“I’m gonna leg it out of here,” Tom said ephemerally. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2885 "2017-07-26T02:32:12Z")
“And then Gandalf waved his arms, and all those tree people froze!” Tom said enticingly. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2886 "2017-07-26T12:04:24Z")
“I found the lamp” Tom said delightedly. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2887 "2017-07-26T13:08:27Z")
“Darn! I don’t have a spare,” Tom said flatly. “Oops, Susan lost her top,” said Tom, tittering. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2888 "2017-07-26T13:37:13Z")
“I _laughed_ when Mrs. Clinton lost the election” said Tom, hilariously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2889 "2017-07-26T13:39:45Z")
“We won it bigly, biggest win in history, believe me!” Donald trumpeted. “But I have to do all the real work, and clean up your messes”, said Mike, pencively. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2890 "2017-07-26T13:50:51Z")
“I was never a swhore” Melania strumpted. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2891 "2017-07-26T19:34:33Z")
“That diamond sure has a lot of sides” said Tom facetiously. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2892 "2017-07-26T20:38:20Z")
“I took a trip up the coast to trade, just like last week,” Tom replied. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2017, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2893 "2017-07-27T19:19:51Z")
“I finished all the subtractions,” said Tom, nonplussed. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2894 "2017-07-28T04:29:27Z")
“Oh, yeah? Well, I’ll do it again, and you can go ahead and sue me again!” Tom retorted. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2895 "2017-07-28T13:23:05Z")
“Drive in those spikes so he won’t fall off,” said Tom crossly. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2896 "2017-07-28T13:46:44Z")
“I distilled it without all that fancy equipment!” Tom retorted. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2897 "2017-07-28T14:32:38Z")
“I think there are too many knots in that wall,” Tom opined. “We’re supposed to go camping next month,” Tom said tentatively. “I thought we’d get more birds on this hunt,” Tom groused. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2898 "2017-07-28T15:02:28Z")
“These cheap paper towels are still falling apart! This time I’ll use _three_ at a time,” Tom replied. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2899 "2017-07-28T18:16:32Z")
“Am I singing tenor or bass?” said Tim inquiringly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2900 "2017-07-28T19:37:48Z")
“I prefer the strings to the woodwinds,” Tom said, violently. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2017, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2901 "2017-07-28T23:18:44Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > “Am I singing tenor or bass?” said Tim inquiringly. “Either way, I’ll be sure to keep the correct pitch.” Tim intoned. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2902 "2017-07-29T01:37:19Z")
“I nailed that William Tell Overture,” said Ted, horning in on the conversation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=144) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=146)