# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 147
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2017, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2923 "2017-08-01T20:57:02Z")
“I’m getting sick of singing ‘Tom Sawyer’ every night,” Tom said giddily. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2017, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2924 "2017-08-01T21:39:51Z")
“My girlfriend loves dwarf-wrestling,” said Ken, throwing another shrimp on the barbie. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2925 "2017-08-02T04:21:26Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “I’m getting sick of singing ‘Tom Sawyer’ every night,” Tom said giddily. Love it! “I’m one of the U.S. diplomats now being forced to leave Russia,” said Tom disconsolately. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2926 "2017-08-02T04:21:55Z")
“That doe-eyed fluffy kitty is soooooo cutie pie,” Tom tweeted. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2927 "2017-08-02T11:51:13Z")
“Whew, I’m sapped,” Tom said as he took a break from tapping maple trees. “I didn’t know being on a NASCAR pit crew would be so hard,” Tom said tiredly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2928 "2017-08-02T13:15:06Z")
> [@Thin\_Ice](#): > > “Whew, I’m sapped,” Tom said as he took a break from tapping maple trees. > > “I didn’t know being on a NASCAR pit crew would be so hard,” Tom said tiredly. See the OP. One per post, please. “I think I may have a bit of carbon monoxide poisoning,” Tom said exhaustedly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2929 "2017-08-02T13:36:39Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “Don’t worry, this gun’s not loaded,” Tom said brandonly. "I put a curse on you, Jon-Erik, said Tom, hexumly ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2930 "2017-08-02T13:48:35Z")
“Thou must stayeth back, lest ye be impaled,” said Tom, shaking his spear. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2931 "2017-08-02T17:46:41Z")
“I see the Wendy’s burger and fries in the bag, but no dairy dessert,” Tom said frostily. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2932 "2017-08-02T18:17:16Z")
“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today,” Tom said, wimpily. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2933 "2017-08-02T18:22:58Z")
“If you rub it just right it will give you much pleasure,” Tom said handily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2934 "2017-08-02T20:03:35Z")
“You’re gonna love _Paper Moon_ and _The Grifters_,” Tom said confidently. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2935 "2017-08-02T20:25:58Z")
“There, there, Honey. I’m sure we can have the entertainment center repaired,” Tom consoled his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2936 "2017-08-02T20:27:41Z")
“I’ve got the best ass in the world!” Tom brayed. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2937 "2017-08-02T21:15:16Z")
“I spoke to him and he assured me he can fix the wheel,” Tom said. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2017, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2938 "2017-08-02T22:22:02Z")
“It’s hard to run with my left foot nailed to the floor,” said Tom in a circular fashion. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2939 "2017-08-03T01:23:41Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > See the OP. One per post, please. **EH** said,\* post hoc\*. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2940 "2017-08-03T01:33:22Z")
“Come harvest time, I reckon we’ll have lotsa crops,” Tom ceded. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2941 "2017-08-03T01:36:19Z")
“I guess l don’t really need my right eye, right ear, right arm, right lung, right kidney, right leg, and right testicle!” Tom decided. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2942 "2017-08-03T01:37:19Z")
“Butt out,” said Tom cheekingly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=146) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=148)