# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 148
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2943 "2017-08-03T14:51:32Z")
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the limo gets you to the high school dance on time,” promised Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2944 "2017-08-03T16:20:22Z")
“Can you believe that quack says he has an effective nitrogen treatment for obesity?” Tom asked, flabbergasted. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2945 "2017-08-03T19:27:21Z")
“#RiseAndShine”, Tom tweeted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2946 "2017-08-03T19:45:13Z")
“It’s only 1918, but we’re not going to win the World Series again until 2004!” cried Boston Red Sox fans, ruthlessly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2947 "2017-08-03T19:51:45Z")
“I finally got the hay wagon loaded to the top”, said Tom, balefully. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2948 "2017-08-03T20:31:18Z")
“I don’t think Nixon was treated well in his first big post-White House interviews,” Tom said frostily. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2949 "2017-08-03T21:06:33Z")
“It’s the ghee that really makes this dish special,” clarified Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2950 "2017-08-03T21:16:24Z")
“I’m the best at everything I do,” Tom trumpeted. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2951 "2017-08-03T21:39:53Z")
“10 joules,” Tom worked in. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2952 "2017-08-04T00:04:57Z")
I’m rowin’ south 'cross the River Shannon," Tom declared. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2953 "2017-08-04T04:20:57Z")
“But I don’t _wanna_ shoot small birds that live on the ground,” Tom groused. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2954 "2017-08-04T11:51:10Z")
“No, Alydar’s gonna win the Derby, guaranteed,” Tom affirmed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2955 "2017-08-04T13:36:41Z")
“I’m going to stand on top of this American cracker”, said Vladimir, Putin on the Ritz. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2956 "2017-08-04T14:35:42Z")
“I refuse to read liberal political commentary online all day,” Tom huffed. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2957 "2017-08-04T16:20:26Z")
“You know, being a hotel doorman is harder than I thought it would be,” Tom admitted. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2958 "2017-08-04T18:11:27Z")
“This is the best candy bar I’ve ever eaten,” Tom snickered. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2959 "2017-08-04T18:23:26Z")
“Peaceful demonstrations against bad policy is a bedrock of American democracy,” Tom protested. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2960 "2017-08-05T01:04:54Z")
“Hmm, arm bones taste funny,” Tom said with a humorous grin. - (Booyah! Double Swiftie, thank you very much :D.)\* ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2961 "2017-08-05T01:15:32Z")
“Listen listen listen listen” Tom foretold. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2962 "2017-08-05T01:19:07Z")
“There is a reliable scientific way to find the depth of the water between Long Island and New Haven,” Tom sounded. _(Tripple Swiftie!)_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=147) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=149)