# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 149
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2963 "2017-08-05T03:00:40Z")
“Don’t let amateurs try these things out,” Tom protested. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2964 "2017-08-05T03:40:36Z")
“Oh, no, I dropped my toothpaste,” Tom said, crestfallen. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2965 "2017-08-05T03:53:51Z")
“My cousin Theodore makes too much noise when he sleeps,” Tom snorted. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2966 "2017-08-05T14:04:44Z")
“I think Ringo was the best Beatle” said Tom, starry eyed ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2967 "2017-08-05T16:01:11Z")
“They didn’t offer as much as I wanted but I went ahead and extended my contract anyway,” Tom said resignedly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2968 "2017-08-05T18:11:10Z")
“Et tu,” Tom said, brutally. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2969 "2017-08-06T01:29:43Z")
“Julius Caesar’s authority should have gone unchallenged,” Tom said imperiously. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2970 "2017-08-06T02:49:58Z")
“I made a mix tape of Doors songs with all the keyboard solos edited out,” said Tom, with audacity. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2971 "2017-08-06T19:56:36Z")
“I’m going down to the quarry to be by myself,” Tom said stonily. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2972 "2017-08-06T20:49:45Z")
“Look out for immigration agents,” Tom said icily. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2973 "2017-08-06T23:26:25Z")
“I finally got the electrical system working properly on my TR6,” Tom said, triumphantly. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2974 "2017-08-06T23:50:05Z")
“I like this breakfast food,” Tim said grittingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2975 "2017-08-07T13:13:52Z")
“As a committed vegan, I can assure you that you will NEVER convince me to wear leather!” said Tom, unsuede. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2976 "2017-08-07T13:29:52Z")
> [@](#): > > “Sure, you can borrow my laundry detergent” said Tom, boldly. > > “Sure, you can borrow my laundry detergent” said Tom, cheerily. > > “Sure, you can borrow my laundry detergent” said Tom, tidily. > > “Sure, you can borrow my laundry detergent” said Tom, though it wasn’t his biz-ness. > > “Sure, you can borrow my laundry detergent” said Tom, though he had nothing to gain. > > “Sure, you can borrow my laundry detergent” said Tom, before he was whisked away. > > “Sure you can borrow my laundry detergent, but then there won’t be any left for me,” said Tom, fabulously. “Sure you can borrow my laundry _soap_. And it’s all natural, no artificial detergents, colors or fragrances” said Tom, methodically. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2977 "2017-08-07T16:57:32Z")
“I heard what sounded like three gunshots,” Tom reported to the police. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2978 "2017-08-07T18:43:27Z")
“Was that an explosion I heard?” Tom asked, bombastically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2979 "2017-08-07T18:52:32Z")
“I love swimming in the shadow of the Pyramids”, said Tom, in denial. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2980 "2017-08-07T18:58:28Z")
“That Viking explorer Erikson is back!” said Tom, in relief. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2981 "2017-08-07T19:05:24Z")
“Faith, hope, and charity are all just useless”, said Tom, disgracefully. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/2982 "2017-08-07T19:14:56Z")
“That mangy dog is going through the garbage again,” muttered Tom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=148) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=150)