# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 152
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2017, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3023 "2017-09-12T13:42:46Z")
“I just set a world record!” said Usain Bolt, in a dashing manner. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2017, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3024 "2017-09-15T17:00:38Z")
“It took surgery, but I feel so much better with my man-boobs gone”, said Tom, getting something off his chest. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2017, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3025 "2017-09-15T17:02:05Z")
“What does this all add up to?”, asked Tom, nonplussed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3026 "2017-09-15T18:29:18Z")
“I think I can fit into the lens-grinding machine”, said Tom, making a spectacle of himself. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3027 "2017-09-15T18:40:47Z")
“I’d bet I can get to second base with her during the hurricane”, said Tom, feeling under the weather. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2017, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3028 "2017-09-15T18:56:55Z")
“If you look very very closely, you can see the statue of Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial on the back of a penny,” Tom said, magnificently. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2017, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3029 "2017-09-15T19:38:39Z")
“I hate having to climb so many stairs to my apartment,” Tom said, loftily. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2017, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3030 "2017-09-16T00:30:28Z")
“I used to have a ring with a stone that changed colors, but somehow I lost it,” Tom said moodily. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2017, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3031 "2017-09-16T00:31:36Z")
“Darn it! Here’s another sock with a hole in it,” Tom said to his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3032 "2017-09-19T13:17:08Z")
“I really love that singer Ice’s music,” said Tom, raptly. (Get It? Rap - T) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3033 "2017-09-19T13:28:58Z")
“I think we ran out of Campari,” Tom said bitterly. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3034 "2017-09-19T15:40:47Z")
“I’ve listened to many brands and Bose seems to be the best,” Tom said soundly. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3035 "2017-09-19T17:41:17Z")
“I guarantee this well will produce oil,” Tom said crudely. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3036 "2017-09-19T17:42:56Z")
“My Mom washed out my mouth with soap and I swallowed some,” Tom said zestfully. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3037 "2017-09-19T18:49:04Z")
“All of these shirts are really wrinkled,” Tom said ironically. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3038 "2017-09-19T19:43:10Z")
“I am left handed,” Tom said, sinisterly. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3039 "2017-09-19T19:54:52Z")
“And I’m right handed,” Tom said ambivalently ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3040 "2017-09-20T03:31:13Z")
“People without allergies just aren’t cool,” Tom sniffed. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3041 "2017-09-20T13:08:30Z")
“One of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s biggest musicals doesn’t even have any people portrayed in it” said Tom, cattily. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3042 "2017-09-20T13:12:13Z")
“The trees in LoTR appear to have the sniffles” Tom said fluently. Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=151) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=153)