# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 153
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3043 "2017-09-20T13:13:53Z")
“Everyone knows that _Canis lupus familiaris_ is man’s best friend,” Tom said doggedly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3044 "2017-09-20T13:16:18Z")
“John Stamos to star in a role originated by Gene Wilder?” asked Tom, williely and wonkaly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3045 "2017-09-20T14:20:56Z")
“I suppose you have a particular herb in mind?” Tom asked sagely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3046 "2017-09-20T14:42:56Z")
“I certainly do,” said Mrs. Tom, in a thymely manner. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3047 "2017-09-20T16:43:54Z")
“This recipe calls for shredded cheese,” Tom grated. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3048 "2017-09-20T16:50:36Z")
“And a roux”, said Mrs. Tom, saucily. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3049 "2017-09-20T17:38:31Z")
“I’ll have the salmon,” Tom said fishily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3050 "2017-09-20T18:29:50Z")
“The chef didn’t gimme nearly enough prime rib,” Tom beefed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3051 "2017-09-20T18:32:59Z")
“I’m in the mood for some poultry instead”, said Tom, chickening out. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3052 "2017-09-20T18:40:19Z")
“I’ll have the pork,” Tom said, piggishly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3053 "2017-09-20T20:06:29Z")
“I’m keeping the stew from burning to the pot bottom”, said Tom, stirringly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2017, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3054 "2017-09-21T03:54:52Z")
“I can’t believe I ate so much food, so fast,” Tom said wolfishly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2017, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3055 "2017-09-21T13:11:40Z")
“I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger with a shrimp salad on the side” said Tom, unkosherly. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2017, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3056 "2017-09-21T17:36:53Z")
“I have heartburn”, Tom said acidly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3057 "2017-09-22T03:40:10Z")
“I hate it when the doctor hits my knee with that little hammer,” Tom said reflexively. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3058 "2017-09-26T17:38:55Z")
“Killing her is so much cheaper than divorcing her” said Tom, giving his wife the Juice. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3059 "2017-09-26T17:41:50Z")
“Hedwig was my favorite character in all of the _Harry Potter_ movies,” Tom said owlishly. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3060 "2017-09-26T18:47:10Z")
“Oh no! I think I just hurt my knee real bad,” Tom said disjointedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2017, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3061 "2017-09-27T15:44:09Z")
“PlayStation absolutely sucks; it’s just the worst,” Tom said disconsolately. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2017, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3062 "2017-09-27T16:38:23Z")
“I used to think that parcel of land belonged to me, but I don’t anymore,” Tom exclaimed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=152) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=154)