# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 155
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3083 "2017-11-22T12:40:16Z")
“This Pullman is too darn noisy; I can’t get any sleep,” Tom railed at the attendant. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3084 "2017-11-22T13:58:44Z")
“I just can’t get used to these new-fangled diesel-electric locomotives”, Tom steamed. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3085 "2017-11-22T20:37:19Z")
“You left the battery drained in my new electric car!”, Tom charged. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3086 "2017-11-22T21:00:48Z")
“Castrate him!” Tom demanded. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2017, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3087 "2017-11-22T21:24:03Z")
“Another year of giving with friends on the Dope,” said Tom thankfully. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2017, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3088 "2017-11-23T23:16:38Z")
“I hate to interrupt you, but I have to go burgle a house,” Tom broke in. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3089 "2017-11-24T00:06:46Z")
“Be wary of black widow spiders,” said Tom, venomously. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3090 "2017-11-24T16:59:44Z")
“I wish I had a third arm to carry all these bags,” said Tom evenhandedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3091 "2017-11-24T17:02:20Z")
“I think something bad is about to happen, and it’s gonna make me so mad I could spit”, said Tom, expectorantly. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3092 "2017-11-24T21:18:36Z")
“This merlot is skunky! It’s undrinkable”, Tom whined. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3093 "2017-11-24T21:25:02Z")
^ (To turn that around…) **"Expectoration is disgusting," Tom spat.** @ElivisL1ves, BTW ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3094 "2017-11-24T21:26:47Z")
“I never should have gotten back together with Ms. Gerwig after our acrimonious breakup,” Tom regretted. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2017, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3095 "2017-11-24T21:35:08Z")
“HALT! Who goes there?” Tom said guardedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2017, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3096 "2017-11-25T12:47:46Z")
“Dammit, my favorite restaurant is full tonight”, said Tom, unreservedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2017, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3097 "2017-11-25T12:50:10Z")
“I ate so much food at Thanksgiving that I had to loosen my belt”, said Tom, expansively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2017, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3098 "2017-11-25T14:23:59Z")
“That was truly, literally, the best Thanksgiving feast I ever had!” said Tom, talking turkey. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2017, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3099 "2017-11-25T14:38:57Z")
“But, please, no leftovers” said Tom, going cold turkey. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3100 "2017-11-26T23:00:56Z")
“I’m sorry, my dear, but I’m going to have to take that derringer you carry in your purse,” Sheriff Tom said disarmingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3101 "2017-11-27T01:23:09Z")
“How would you like a taste of .45 lead instead, Sheriff?” Tom asked, coltishly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3102 "2017-11-27T01:24:13Z")
“I finally got the upholstery off that old chair, and you won’t believe what was holding it on”, said Tom, getting down to brass tacks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=154) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=156)