# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 156
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3103 "2017-11-27T13:46:03Z")
“The voice – of the computer – in _2001: A Space Odyssey_ – always gives me – goose bumps,” Tom said haltingly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3104 "2017-11-27T14:09:22Z")
“I will NOT name our son after the current president,” Tom trumpeted. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3105 "2017-11-27T14:12:08Z")
“I want neither white bread nor wheat for my sandwich,” Tom said wryly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3106 "2017-11-27T14:19:22Z")
“I do not have to explain why I named my son after a cartoon character” said Donald, ducking the issue. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3107 "2017-11-27T14:25:11Z")
“Donald Duck is my FAVORITE!”, Tom exclaimed with animation. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3108 "2017-11-27T19:49:27Z")
“My need to use Viagra inspired me to buy more Pfizer stock than I could afford,” Tom overshared. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3109 "2017-11-27T21:31:22Z")
“I love preparing corn on the cob,” Tom said huskily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3110 "2017-11-29T18:02:47Z")
“And you can use the husks for _empanadas_”, said Jimmy Stewart, in his trademark “Aw, shucks” manner. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2017, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3111 "2017-11-29T18:17:23Z")
“I’m sorry - I left my Bic in the wigwam”, Tom said, penitently. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2017, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3112 "2017-11-29T20:17:13Z")
“You’re the greatest lay I’ve ever had, Heidi Klum, especially after you loosened up by taking a few bong hits,” Tom said in High German. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2018, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3113 "2018-01-17T15:32:19Z")
“Keep that darn dog quiet! Some of us have to sleep,” Tom barked at his neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3114 "2018-01-18T13:46:18Z")
“Now that we’re divorced, I get all the money”, Tom exclaimed. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3115 "2018-01-18T14:38:56Z")
“O, I just want a fast coffee,” said Tom, expressing himself. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3116 "2018-01-18T17:35:19Z")
“I’m quitting this test. I’m never qualifying for Jeopardy!” said Tom, exquisitely. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2018, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3117 "2018-01-19T01:08:55Z")
“Stop burning me and I’ll tell you everything”, Tom said in a tortured voice. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2018, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3118 "2018-01-19T14:09:37Z")
“Yes, I do admit to having some odd habit of not zipping up my pants,” said Tom, exposing himself to ridicule. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2018, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3119 "2018-01-19T22:55:31Z")
“I’m no dumbbell,” Tom chimed in. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2018, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3120 "2018-01-20T04:44:56Z")
“Thank you, I’m here all week”, Tom said, dazed. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2018, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3121 "2018-01-20T04:59:36Z")
“Who the hell was that guy and why does he care about Kenneth and his frequency?” said Dan, rather shaken up. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2018, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3122 "2018-01-20T04:59:41Z")
“Where can a guy find a good prostitute around here?” Tom asked hoarsely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=155) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=157)