# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 158
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2018, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3143 "2018-01-25T18:15:58Z")
“The lake is so calm, it’s like a perfectly smooth mirror,” Tom reflected. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2018, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3144 "2018-01-25T19:37:55Z")
“This peninsula in Quebec is so breathtakingly beautiful,” Tom gasped. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2018, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3145 "2018-01-25T21:24:07Z")
“Would you like to stroke my pussycat?” Tom purred. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3146 "2018-01-29T05:17:18Z")
“I’ll still play, even though I didn’t make it in the bigs”, Tom said, beleaguered. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3147 "2018-01-29T05:41:51Z")
“I don’t care what anyone says, canines are the best animals around,” Tom said doggedly. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3148 "2018-01-29T13:29:11Z")
“Now that I’ve learned to talk, I don’t have to use unintelligible noises to communicate,” Tom said, disgruntled. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3149 "2018-01-29T15:18:30Z")
“I guess I should just go back out in the field with the rest of the flock,” Tom said sheepishly. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3150 "2018-01-29T18:02:34Z")
“That particular felon from Brooklyn is excessively tardy!” said Tom, disconsolately. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3151 "2018-01-29T21:00:23Z")
“The outer covering of trees is vital in protecting them from insects and weather!” Tom barked. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3152 "2018-01-30T01:24:28Z")
“I like bananas a bunch”, Tom said dolefully. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3153 "2018-01-30T14:06:22Z")
“Since I’ve been in bed with this lung infection, I’ve been binge watching _The Jeffersons_. I really love Mrs. Jefferson,” said Tom, wheezy. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3154 "2018-01-30T19:28:57Z")
“Those who hold judicial powers but not the title ‘judge’ are nevertheless worthy of our respect,” Tom said magisterially. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3155 "2018-01-30T19:47:08Z")
“I wish there was a way to send a letter to my loved one serving on that undersea Navy vessel”, said Tom, submissively. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3156 "2018-01-30T21:40:43Z")
“My favorite part of any body of water is the area closest to the shore,” Tom littorally said. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2018, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3157 "2018-02-13T18:26:42Z")
“I think I shall move from my basement apartment to a much more spacious upstairs abode with ample natural light,” Tom said loftily. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3158 "2018-02-14T14:40:06Z")
> [@Oly](#): > > “I like bananas a bunch”, Tom said dolefully. “Since snapping off my wrist bone, that hand is useless” said Tom, dolefully (yes, straight to hell for that one). ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3159 "2018-02-14T15:35:56Z")
“I can’t remember what that woman’s name rhymed with”, said Jerry Seinfeld, dolorously. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3160 "2018-02-14T15:45:04Z")
“I wish that Hogwarts ghost would stop bothering me,” Tom said peevishly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3161 "2018-02-14T20:27:59Z")
“I am no longer a tiny 98 pound weakling!”, said Charles Atlas, with impunity. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3162 "2018-02-14T20:47:41Z")
“There’s only been one Austrian-born Secretary-General of the United Nations,” Tom said curtly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=157) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=159)