# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 159
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3163 "2018-02-15T04:29:48Z")
“Opioid addiction is a snap to kick,” said Tom oxymoronically. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3164 "2018-02-15T04:38:34Z")
“I gotta get the wrinkles out of this shirt” said Tom ironically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3165 "2018-02-15T13:51:39Z")
“I need some British beer after this”, said Tom, stoutly but bitterly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3166 "2018-02-15T14:09:48Z")
“I wish I’d worn my wrist brace today” said Tom, watching his right hand bob dolefully. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3167 "2018-02-15T15:15:01Z")
“My Jamaican hairstyle has finally grown out!”, said Tom, dreadfully. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3168 "2018-02-15T15:25:42Z")
“I have to go the easternmost community in Cuyahoga County, Ohio,” Tom said, chagrined. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2018, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3169 "2018-02-15T20:04:20Z")
“Here I am with a ghost in the Cleveland suburb that shares its name with Harry Truman’s home town,” Tom said with a spirit of Independence. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3170 "2018-02-16T13:40:02Z")
“I’ll eat this flat white fish every Friday from Ash Wednesday 'til Easter”, said Tom insolently. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3171 "2018-02-16T14:52:40Z")
“Oh no! The store’s out of sole! I’ll have to try something else”, said Tom, floundering. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3172 "2018-02-16T16:32:17Z")
“For some reason, I feel like bounding through the snowy wastes after caribou,” Tom said wolfishly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3173 "2018-02-16T16:40:46Z")
“My life is ruined. I might as well let that wolf come get me,” said Tom, sheepishly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3174 "2018-02-16T23:00:22Z")
“Andrew Johnson’s successor was a former Civil War general, it’s true,” Tom granted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3175 "2018-02-17T00:06:44Z")
“There has been only one President from New Hampshire”, said Franklin, piercingly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2018, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3176 "2018-02-17T20:55:06Z")
“I’m so tired of discussing the second pair of father-son Presidents,” said Tom, bushed. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3177 "2018-02-18T03:24:46Z")
“The first two women I called weren’t interested in going out with me, but the third one jumped at the chance, so I might as well give her a shot,” Tom said sedately. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2018, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3178 "2018-02-18T18:48:54Z")
(I don’t get it) “I like 100-watt bulbs best,” Tom said lightly. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3179 "2018-02-19T01:48:48Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > “The first two women I called weren’t interested in going out with me, but the third one jumped at the chance, so I might as well give her a shot,” Tom said sedately. Tom’s first choice would have been the “A” date, his second the “B” date, so his third… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3180 "2018-02-19T05:29:48Z")
(Ah! Thanks. Got it.) “Come to think of it, do you have any 1000-watt bulbs?” Tom said brightly. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3181 "2018-02-19T07:08:13Z")
“I’ll keep the frankincense, but pass on this other stuff”, Tom said demurely. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2018, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3182 "2018-02-19T19:23:53Z")
“All my shirts are smooth and wrinkle-free now,” Tom said ironically. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=158) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=160)