# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 163
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2018, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3243 "2018-03-31T20:48:56Z")
“But Rochester’s white hots are the ones I most relish!” opined Oscar Weiner (a former mayor) _ **frankly** _. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3244 "2018-04-01T01:39:44Z")
“You’re not going to hear from me between Good Friday and Easter,” said Jesus, dead serious. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3245 "2018-04-01T12:37:46Z")
“Why do I have to do this EVERY Easter?” asked Peter Cottontail, hopping mad. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2018, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3246 "2018-04-02T17:33:53Z")
“Well, at least you make _your_ rounds in decent weather!” scraped Santa frostily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3247 "2018-04-02T19:02:52Z")
“Has anyone seen the first songbird of spring?” Tom chirped. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2018, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3248 "2018-04-02T19:57:15Z")
“I’m offering all of you the chance to write your own ‘Trump tweeted’ joke here”, ElvisL1ves posted. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2018, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3249 "2018-04-02T20:35:33Z")
“_ **What?!** _ You fell into that ditch _ **again?** _” shouted Cliff, condescendingly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2018, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3250 "2018-04-02T20:48:55Z")
Hmmph! I must inform you that aviation goes back [more than a century](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aviation#Lighter_than_air) before the Wright brothers first flight!" said a direct descendant of the [Montgolfier brothers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montgolfier_brothers), _ **loftily** _. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2018, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3251 "2018-04-02T21:43:11Z")
“Has anyone seen my big white woolly coat with the black arms?” Tom asked sheepishly. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3252 "2018-04-04T00:33:28Z")
“Listen carefully, you stupid landlord. This time it has nothing to do with fleas!” I shouted, really ticked off! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3253 "2018-04-04T13:37:52Z")
“I am not going to support Broadway’s Disneyfication,” said Tom, Frozenly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3254 "2018-04-04T15:30:47Z")
“I hated that production anyway”, said Peter, panning it. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3255 "2018-04-04T15:38:26Z")
“I hear the Snow White production is deep in the hole;” Tom said, belittling it. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3256 "2018-04-04T16:17:40Z")
"It was dwarfed by “Damn Yankees,” said Tom, devilishly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3257 "2018-04-04T16:50:21Z")
“But it beat _The Wizard of Oz_”, said Elphaba, wickedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3258 "2018-04-04T17:24:53Z")
“Sheriff Woody was never my favorite Pixar character,” Tom buzzed. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2018, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3259 "2018-04-04T19:10:57Z")
“I’ve seen musicals from the weirdest source material,” said Tom, cattily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3260 "2018-04-05T15:28:58Z")
“I wish they’d stop smoking in here,” Tom fumed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3261 "2018-04-05T16:27:57Z")
“Or at least use those e-cigs”, Tom continued, vapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3262 "2018-04-05T21:25:00Z")
“Why not fight fire with fire and break out your old corn cob,” Mrs. Tom piped up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=162) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=164)