# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 164
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3263 "2018-04-05T21:30:21Z")
“The President didn’t never quite say that,” Sarah trumpeted. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3264 "2018-04-05T22:02:36Z")
“I like that video game where you go digging in mines,” Tom said craftily. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3265 "2018-04-06T13:24:17Z")
“I’m embarrassed at the amount of rouge you put on me,” said Tom, red faced. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3266 "2018-04-06T15:06:50Z")
“I’m sad this thread has veered away from Broadway”, said Les, miserably. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3267 "2018-04-06T15:54:48Z")
“Yes, Thread Games are best when the set-up and continuation makes up the fabric,” Tom needled. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3268 "2018-04-06T16:37:04Z")
“There is no narrow path to getting on stage,” said Tom, taking the broad way. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3269 "2018-04-06T17:57:57Z")
“Your hair looks like it was cut with a lawn mower” said Tom, snippily. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2018, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3270 "2018-04-06T18:29:08Z")
“I’d like to see **Shodan** here again and again,” said Tom guardedly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3271 "2018-04-07T15:24:51Z")
“I still cannot believe the results of the 2000 election,” said Al Gore, unprecedented ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3272 "2018-04-07T21:50:26Z")
“Do as I say, not as I do”, said Al Gore, warmly. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3273 "2018-04-08T02:12:12Z")
“I have a job making sure that everything is split fairly and right down the middle,” said Tom, equivocating. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2018, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3274 "2018-04-09T23:15:57Z")
“I’ll come up… with something… once I catch… my breath,” said Tom, exasperated. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3275 "2018-04-10T04:49:49Z")
“You’d better let a qualified medical professional in a non-hospital practice look you over,” Tom said clinically. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3276 "2018-04-10T18:21:21Z")
“Perhaps we should call Dr. House,” said Tom, peering in. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3277 "2018-04-10T18:28:19Z")
“Do you mind me sticking this sterile metal implement inside you?” Dr. Tom probed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3278 "2018-04-10T18:35:50Z")
“I’ll start by making a cut in the skin … here,” said Dr. Tom, incisively. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3279 "2018-04-10T19:19:43Z")
“Your lawsuit is going nowhere, pal,” said Judge Tom dismissively. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3280 "2018-04-10T22:08:54Z")
“Uh, you’re a good mohel, right? After you make the cut make sure you check,” said Tom, circumspectly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3281 "2018-04-11T02:06:26Z")
“Do we have to go to McDonald’s again?” Tom asked archly. ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3282 "2018-04-11T04:51:28Z")
“Why can’t I squeeze this toilet paper?” asked Tom charminly. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/L50tuag6iRs/hqdefault.jpg "1970's Mr. Whipple Don't squeeze the Charmin Bath Tissue Toilet paper Commercial") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L50tuag6iRs) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=163) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=165)