# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 165
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3283 "2018-04-11T15:20:19Z")
“I need something to get more air into this fire before it dies out!” Tom bellowed. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3284 "2018-04-11T19:01:32Z")
“I just can’t get motivated to film myself in the act of finding a random person and killing him,” said Tom, not feeling up to snuff. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3285 "2018-04-12T18:48:59Z")
“That’s why they call it a “boom”, for the sound it makes when it smacks your head. Next time, keep your head down while I’m turning the sailboat this way!”, Tom gibed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2018, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3286 "2018-04-13T03:05:57Z")
“Off we go to San Francisco, everybody!” Tom said gaily. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2018, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3287 "2018-04-14T14:48:41Z")
“You know, I might maybe run for President in 2020,” said Mike, pensively, but with perfect vision) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2018, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3288 "2018-04-14T21:08:00Z")
“I might do some trimming out in front of the house today, but maybe not,” Tom hedged. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2018, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3289 "2018-04-15T05:46:52Z")
“That’s… odd”, said Tom unevenly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2018, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3290 "2018-04-15T17:25:31Z")
“My superadvanced deathbeam will use neither A-rays nor C-rays!” Tom brayed. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3291 "2018-04-16T19:39:16Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > “That’s… odd”, said Tom unevenly. “That comes to 33 dollars even,” said Tom, oddly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3292 "2018-04-16T20:03:08Z")
“And that purchase comes to exactly 144 dollars” said Tom, grossly. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2018, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3293 "2018-04-16T20:20:02Z")
“You gave me only $10 back from my $20 bill…oh, here’s the rest,” said Tom, changing his tune. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3294 "2018-04-19T23:09:18Z")
“I’m worried about my nose and have booked an appointment with an otorhinolaryngologist”, said Tom uneasily. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2018, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3295 "2018-04-19T23:34:50Z")
[I’m embarrassed, but I don’t get it… Facepalm predicted…] “I can’t start painting yet,” said Tom, uneasily. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3296 "2018-04-20T02:56:34Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > [I’m embarrassed, but I don’t get it… Facepalm predicted…] “Uneasily” means “in a way that shows anxiety or discomfort”. “Otorhinolaryngologist” is not an easy word to say. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3297 "2018-04-20T03:37:05Z")
“I’m always in good spirits after I see a Noel Coward play,” Tom said blithely. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3298 "2018-04-21T20:27:59Z")
“Batten the hatches! Fill the ballast tanks! Dive! Dive! Dive!” ordered the submarine’s commander, Captain Tom, with a sinking feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3299 "2018-04-24T23:05:27Z")
“The guy across the net from me is a Satan worshiper,” said Tom, playing the Devil’s advocate. ---
**Author:** ![Homo\_litoralis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homo\_litoralis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homo_litoralis)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2018, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3300 "2018-04-25T04:29:52Z")
“I don’t care how long this takes. I’m not getting off this toilet until I have a bowel movement,” Tom thought, undeterred. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2018, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3301 "2018-04-25T12:13:14Z")
“Here I sit, broken hearted, came to shit and only farted”, said Tom, astutely. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2018, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/3302 "2018-04-25T15:30:25Z")
“Ugh, I wish someone would turn on the ceiling fan in here,” Tom fumed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=164) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=166)