# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/341 "2013-07-17T20:15:47Z")
“Now, then, to the tune of ‘I bathe my Cheerios in brine’,” Tom piccoloed. ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/342 "2013-07-17T20:21:29Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “Now, then, to the tune of ‘I bathe my Cheerios in brine’,” Tom piccoloed. “And play it _molto vivo_!” Tom said expressively ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/343 "2013-07-17T20:25:58Z")
“We can put up the target on the side of the barn,” Tom said broadly ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/344 "2013-07-17T20:28:05Z")
> [@MacLir](#): > > “And play it _molto vivo_!” Tom said expressively "Let’s follow with ‘Scotland the Brave’, " Tom piped. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/345 "2013-07-17T20:32:05Z")
“Well, heck, get out the whole orchestra and we’ll play ‘The Wheaties Overture’, ‘I Lost All My Lucky Charms’ and ‘The All Bran Nocturne’,” Tom said serially. ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/346 "2013-07-17T20:35:17Z")
> [@fanganga](#): > > "Let’s follow with ‘Scotland the Brave’, " Tom piped. “Some prefer ‘The Flowers of the Forest’,” Tom droned. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/347 "2013-07-17T20:46:42Z")
“How about ‘The Ballad of Jaymac’?” asked Tom with a faux Scots accent. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/348 "2013-07-17T20:53:33Z")
"You’re holding the notes too long, " Tom quavered. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/349 "2013-07-17T20:55:19Z")
“WhendoIgettobreathinthispassage?,” Tom hemidemisemiquavered. ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/350 "2013-07-17T21:09:36Z")
> [@fanganga](#): > > "You’re holding the notes too long, " Tom quavered. “Go kiss a mule!” Tom and his relatives said, clannishly. Kisamul Castle - actually pronounced Kiss-a-muhl ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/351 "2013-07-17T21:39:32Z")
“If we sit up in this tree we’ll be safe from the grizzlies,” said Tom overbearingly. ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/352 "2013-07-17T22:32:11Z")
“Yes. I pushed her out without a parachute” explained Tom ruthlessly. ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/353 "2013-07-17T22:48:46Z")
> [@Parthol](#): > > “My pregnant wife’s doctor has a throat infection!” said Tom obstreperously. “She’ll get better if she squeezes into this box” contorted Tom obscurely. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/354 "2013-07-17T23:26:14Z")
> [@j\_sum1](#): > > “Yes. I pushed her out without a parachute” explained Tom ruthlessly. “I’d have died if I hadn’t landed in that haystack,” said Ruth softly. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/355 "2013-07-17T23:56:09Z")
“I feel the need to orgasm”, Tom said compulsively. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/356 "2013-07-18T01:17:52Z")
“Who’s that trip-trapping across my bridge?”, asked “Tom”, trolling. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/357 "2013-07-18T01:21:02Z")
“I’d tap that,” Tom said lustily. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/358 "2013-07-18T01:27:43Z")
“I used to deliver the mail,” Tom expostulated. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/359 "2013-07-18T01:31:58Z")
> [@j\_sum1](#): > > “She’ll get better if she squeezes into this box” contorted Tom obscurely. “That’s what SHE said!” Tom remarked officiously. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/360 "2013-07-18T01:46:12Z")
“But she may be lying,” Tom said dubiously. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=19)