# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/361 "2013-07-18T02:05:53Z")
“I feel like drinking cheap wine, listening to bad poetry and snapping my fingers in a dark basement somewhere,” Tom said beatifically. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/362 "2013-07-18T07:02:17Z")
“Curse you, bright red, gout-swollen digit,” said Tom at toe. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/363 "2013-07-18T10:16:32Z")
“After we finish this cricket match there will be a charity raffle,” said Tom (bowler). ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/364 "2013-07-18T13:03:36Z")
A bit late in coming, but: > [@MacLir](#): > > “Wrong identification! Learn some geology!” Tom shouted volcanically “What kind of two-bit good-for-nothing encyclopaedia gives misleading information on metamorphic rocks?” said Tom, slating [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schist). ---
**Author:** ![TonyRV2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TonyRV2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonyRV2)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/365 "2013-07-18T14:54:04Z")
“Working in a muffler shop all day is hard work.” , Tom said exhaustingly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/366 "2013-07-18T15:07:14Z")
“My name is neither Anne nor Andy,” Tom said raggedly. ---
**Author:** ![TnTangent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TnTangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TnTangent)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/367 "2013-07-18T15:07:33Z")
“I guess I’m nowhere near done autographing all these CDs,” Tom said resignedly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/368 "2013-07-18T15:40:31Z")
“A Steinway’s all right, but a Bosendorfer - now you’re talking!” said Tom grandly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/369 "2013-07-18T15:51:34Z")
“We should do something special when the admiral comes aboard,” Tom piped. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/370 "2013-07-18T16:07:13Z")
“\*Night on Bare Mountain’s \*over, put on some more Mussorgsky,” said Tom modestly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/371 "2013-07-18T16:14:30Z")
“Then let’s go to town!” Tom ejaculated. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/372 "2013-07-18T16:17:13Z")
“The doctor removed my left atrium and my left ventricle,” said Tom halfheartedly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/373 "2013-07-18T16:36:08Z")
“I enjoy ocean swimming when it’s calm,” sang Tom in C-Flat. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/374 "2013-07-18T16:38:32Z")
“There shouldn’t be any problem chilling this thing down to absolute zero,” Tom okayed. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/375 "2013-07-18T16:42:32Z")
“Thelf-modifying lambda calculuth ith the betht!” Tom lisped. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/376 "2013-07-18T16:46:20Z")
“If I’ve researched the internet once, I’ve researched it 10^100 times,” Tom googoled. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/377 "2013-07-18T16:50:25Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “If I’ve researched the internet once, I’ve researched it 10^100 times,” Tom googoled. “I tried to find help, but only one in 10^(10^100) results was any good,” said Tom, perplexed. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/378 "2013-07-18T17:08:08Z")
“We should bring more _Formicidae_ into the country,” Tom said importantly. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/379 "2013-07-18T17:14:04Z")
“The good old fishing hole has dried up,” Tom cried dis-pond-ently. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/380 "2013-07-18T17:58:34Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > “We should bring more _Formicidae_ into the country,” Tom said importantly. Like 🙂 “I really did see a little demon,” Tom implied. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=20)