# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/421 "2013-07-19T18:53:04Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > “Dis marks de property line,” Uncle Tom said defensively. “Who kept de brudder down?” Uncle Tom demanded. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/422 "2013-07-19T19:41:55Z")
“We don’t have to get married, we can just live together”, Tom insinuated. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/423 "2013-07-19T19:42:15Z")
“In the future, everyone will have robot pets,” Tom said dogmatically. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/424 "2013-07-19T19:47:43Z")
“Did you know Giacomo Balla painted with floor wax?” asked Tom futuristically. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/425 "2013-07-19T21:27:33Z")
“That has nothing to do with the subject” said Tom impertinently. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/426 "2013-07-20T01:49:20Z")
“You could always come up and see my collection of springs,” said Tom coyly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/427 "2013-07-20T06:11:53Z")
“What the RAF needed was fighter planes with gun turrets,” Tom said defiantly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/428 "2013-07-20T12:02:00Z")
"I’m going to conquer the red planet, " said Major Tom martially. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/429 "2013-07-20T13:44:28Z")
I’m reexamining my sexuality," Tom cried gaily. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/430 "2013-07-20T13:51:57Z")
“Holy smoke!” said Tom, incensed. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/431 "2013-07-20T14:44:07Z")
“It would be jolly fun to go to Jupiter,” said Major Tom jovially ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/432 "2013-07-20T16:51:18Z")
“At least I won’t need shoes again,” Tom said, defeated. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/433 "2013-07-21T01:43:49Z")
“I was the first in our group to reach the grave of a 19th-century monarch,” Tom said victoriously. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/434 "2013-07-21T01:58:12Z")
“I can’t stop farting” Tom gasped. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/435 "2013-07-21T01:59:23Z")
“I liked ringed planets the best,” Major Tom said saturninely. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/436 "2013-07-21T07:48:12Z")
“Some papers from the lawyers,” Tom said briefly. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/437 "2013-07-21T13:05:28Z")
“I really like dogs without a pedigree” muttered Tom. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/438 "2013-07-21T16:39:48Z")
“I’m all out of covers for my face” said Tom, to no avail. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/439 "2013-07-21T18:21:56Z")
“This meat is horribly undercooked!” Tom roared. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/440 "2013-07-21T18:59:44Z")
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