# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/441 "2013-07-21T19:09:33Z")
“So, we are going to have another boy” Tom reasoned. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/442 "2013-07-21T20:35:18Z")
“I’m a man so this is a satchel”, Tom said with his lips pursed. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/443 "2013-07-21T21:42:10Z")
“I will never watch another of Ms. Danes’ movies!” Tom declared. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/444 "2013-07-22T01:01:47Z")
“Let’s go see some of West Virginia’s hidden backwoods wonders!” Tom hollered. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/445 "2013-07-22T01:23:13Z")
“Try blowing harder on those embers or that fire will never catch”, Tom bellowed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/446 "2013-07-22T01:25:29Z")
“I don’t wanna smell the gasses coming out of that nozzle,” Tom fumed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/447 "2013-07-22T01:32:26Z")
“I hope Britain adopts the Euro”, Tom expounded. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/448 "2013-07-22T03:16:28Z")
“I just can’t get away with charming Irish near-expletives” said Tom fecklessly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/449 "2013-07-22T11:38:25Z")
“If the new playstation had come out a year ago I might have bought one, but now it looks hopelessly outdated,” said Tom disconsolately. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/450 "2013-07-22T12:12:17Z")
“All my hair’s fallen out!” Tom said, distressed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/451 "2013-07-22T13:23:09Z")
“Someone shook my beer,” Tom frothed. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/452 "2013-07-22T13:24:34Z")
“This Lite beer is so weak, I don’t think it has any alcohol in it at all,” said Tom, lacking proof. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/453 "2013-07-22T13:44:13Z")
“You know I don’t like cream and sugar in my coffe” said Tom, blackly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/454 "2013-07-22T14:30:18Z")
“Today is my 35th Anniversary of marriage with the lovely Madame P.,” said the Professor, looking forward to getting his pepper winkled. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/455 "2013-07-22T14:34:16Z")
“Hope you and the Mrs. have some warmed but not overcooked bread to celebrate!” Tom toasted. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/456 "2013-07-22T14:49:35Z")
“That boy Dennis is so mischievous”, said Tom to Mr. Wilson, menacingly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/457 "2013-07-22T14:54:12Z")
“I wish Calvin wouldn’t drag Hobbes everywhere” said Tom, stuffily. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/458 "2013-07-22T14:55:40Z")
“Why couldn’t he have kicked the football at least once?” asked Tom in a brown study. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/459 "2013-07-22T15:36:52Z")
“That was the biggest turd I ever dropped”, said Tom, flushed with pride. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/460 "2013-07-22T15:39:06Z")
“So won’t she have the baby already” said Tom, belaboured [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=24)