# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/521 "2013-07-25T22:10:25Z")
“Neitzche is uber,” mentioned Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/522 "2013-07-26T03:53:42Z")
“Put on another Tarantino movie!” Tom said violently. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/523 "2013-07-26T04:20:04Z")
“I love Tina Louise,” said Tom gingerly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/524 "2013-07-26T06:47:47Z")
“Religious symbolism is everywhere,” Tom said crossly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/525 "2013-07-26T13:01:58Z")
“I love posting here”, said Tom, dopily. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/526 "2013-07-26T13:14:48Z")
“I like the way the Royal Navy waters down the rum”, said Tom groggily. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/527 "2013-07-26T15:11:41Z")
“You think I’m going hunting for THAT?,” Tom snarked. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/528 "2013-07-26T16:00:25Z")
“Just call me Big Daddy,” Tom said paternally. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/529 "2013-07-26T17:49:12Z")
“I’m going to kill myself because my compulsive behaviour on Ebay has driven me to bankruptcy,” said Tom morbidly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/530 "2013-07-26T18:00:16Z")
“Quick, there’s a lightning storm outside - gimme my kite and key!” Tom said electrifyingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/531 "2013-07-26T18:04:24Z")
“I can never be effed”, said Tom, ineffably. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/532 "2013-07-26T18:07:56Z")
“The Dionne girls played a vital role in the progress of civilization” was a quintessential Tom saying. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/533 "2013-07-26T19:05:52Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “I like reading about the Greek philosophers, but not _that_ much,” Tom said platonically. “And they had some unpleasant habits too”, said Tom, putting it behind him. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/534 "2013-07-26T19:06:52Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Quick, there’s a lightning storm outside - gimme my kite and key!” Tom said electrifyingly. “Quick, there’s a lightning storm outside - gimme my kite and key!” Tom said frankly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/535 "2013-07-26T19:10:47Z")
And so Tom set off in a flash. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/536 "2013-07-26T19:54:38Z")
“Stephen Colbert should have won that election,” said Tom truthily. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/537 "2013-07-26T20:59:59Z")
“I have to cut down my favorite Willow Tree” Tom Wept. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/538 "2013-07-27T02:41:19Z")
“I’ll get you, and your little dog too,” said Tom wickedly. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/539 "2013-07-27T03:25:23Z")
“I named my first son after my favorite author, Mr. Twain, and my second after my favorite baseball player, Mr McGwire” Tom remarked. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/540 "2013-07-27T03:48:00Z")
“It’s a three hour tour, Lovey, a three hour tour,” howled Tom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=28)