# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/541 "2013-07-27T09:21:31Z")
“I’m going to walk this guy and pitch to the next one,” Tom bawled. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/542 "2013-07-27T15:26:40Z")
“Are you sure it’s just a three hour tour, Skipper?,” asked Gil again. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/543 "2013-07-27T16:11:24Z")
“Where’s the gold? Who took the damn myrrh?” yelled Frank, incensed. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/544 "2013-07-27T16:12:26Z")
“That’s the last of the airplane glue”, said Tom in a huff. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/545 "2013-07-27T16:14:57Z")
“We’re called _Little People_,” said Tom shortly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/546 "2013-07-27T16:22:23Z")
“How about this for a famous last word?” Tom croaked. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/547 "2013-07-27T16:34:02Z")
“I got all I could out of the pipe,” Tom resonated. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/548 "2013-07-27T18:12:59Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “Are you sure it’s just a three hour tour, Skipper?,” asked Gil again. “I’m sorry if this offends you, but I’ve always fancied the redhead,” said Tom gingerly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/549 "2013-07-27T18:34:18Z")
“You know, I always preferred Mary Ann,” said the Professor abandonedly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/550 "2013-07-27T18:38:13Z")
“Put it in the attic,” Tom said loftily. ---
**Author:** ![slowlearner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@slowlearner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowlearner)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/551 "2013-07-27T23:06:52Z")
“Adam!” Tom warned fruitlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/552 "2013-07-28T09:11:30Z")
“They’re like small wild damsons and you can make gin-based liqueur out of them,” Tom said slowly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/553 "2013-07-28T13:05:31Z")
“My computer’s documents program broke down,” Tom mimed wordlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/554 "2013-07-28T13:09:22Z")
“I’m great with spreadsheets,” Tom excelled. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/555 "2013-07-28T14:48:35Z")
" ," said Tom dumbly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/556 "2013-07-28T14:52:42Z")
“I’m glad that tetanus shot worked”, said Tom, slack-jawed. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/557 "2013-07-28T14:55:34Z")
“Palings, pickets or barbed wire - it all comes the same to me,” Tom said offensively. ---
**Author:** ![RearEchelon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RearEchelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RearEchelon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/558 "2013-07-28T22:26:14Z")
“Scotch on the rocks,” Tom ordered icily. ---
**Author:** ![RearEchelon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RearEchelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RearEchelon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/559 "2013-07-28T22:31:35Z")
“I hate it when you do that,” Tom said peevishly. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/560 "2013-07-28T22:31:50Z")
“I think I’m going to get a Prince Albert,” said Tom piercingly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=29)