# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 30
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/581 "2013-07-30T20:11:38Z")
“Other drinks? That sounds good,” Tom popped. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/582 "2013-07-30T20:12:33Z")
“I can’t drink anything but beer” said Tom, sadder Budweiser. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/583 "2013-07-30T20:12:50Z")
“Whisky is good,” Tom said spiritedly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/584 "2013-07-30T20:13:55Z")
“But don’t you find all this drinking gives you the munchies?” Tom scoffed. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/585 "2013-07-30T20:15:26Z")
“Is there any espumante?” Tom sparkled. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/586 "2013-07-30T20:16:21Z")
“Who is John Galt?” Tom asked Objectively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/587 "2013-07-30T20:20:56Z")
“And candy is dandy”, Tom said sweetly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/588 "2013-07-30T20:35:17Z")
Tom yelled “They can never take away our freedom!” until he was blue in the face. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/589 "2013-07-30T20:42:10Z")
“Yes! We’re going to have some fine champagne!” said Tom, positively bubbling over with excitement. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/590 "2013-07-30T22:22:56Z")
“I used to work as an ‘independent contractor’ in all kinds of short-term, low-paying jobs,” Tom said extemporaneously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/591 "2013-07-30T22:38:40Z")
“I’m glad I quit my job at that air conditioner factory” said Tom extraneously. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/592 "2013-07-30T22:56:42Z")
“First I’ll get a policy, then I’ll ask Flo out, and before you know it, we’ll be a family,” said Tom progressively. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/593 "2013-07-30T23:12:11Z")
“We can’t escape the Borg without warp drive”, said Major Tom, impulsively. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/594 "2013-07-30T23:53:36Z")
“We didn’t escape,” said the one who used to be Tom, assimilatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/595 "2013-07-31T01:39:14Z")
“How about a kick in the balls?” Tom said swiftly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2013, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/596 "2013-07-31T11:08:22Z")
“Would I have dared oppose Indonesia’s occupation of that former Portuguese colony?” Tom asked timorously. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2013, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/597 "2013-07-31T11:09:27Z")
“I bloody well hate those bleedin’ kangaroos, mate” said Tom, hopping mad. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/598 "2013-07-31T20:50:59Z")
“Uh, what are those Australian animals that look like teddy bears and eat eucalytus leaves?” asked Tom with qualifications. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2013, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/599 "2013-07-31T22:28:37Z")
“Is it 4:20 yet?” Tom asked blissfully. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/600 "2013-08-01T03:52:30Z")
“_Seven Days in May, All the President’s Men_ and _Valhalla_ are some of my favorite movies,” Tom said conspiratorially. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=29) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=31)