# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 31
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/601 "2013-08-01T07:37:23Z")
“Control, my ignition system isn’t working,” said Major Tom, groundedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/602 "2013-08-01T12:58:03Z")
“I’m going to start wearing boxer shorts”, said Tom during his debriefing. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/603 "2013-08-01T16:25:02Z")
“I like my beer dark and strong,” Tom said stoutly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/604 "2013-08-01T16:28:21Z")
“They got rid of the sunken ship in this channel,” Tom said recklessly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/605 "2013-08-01T16:30:32Z")
“This is your last chance to surrender, Jabba,” said Luke forcefully. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/606 "2013-08-01T16:50:32Z")
“I just want enough cheese to sprinkle on as a topping,” Tom grated. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/607 "2013-08-01T17:29:04Z")
“That’s…easy…for…you…to…say,” said Stephen hawkingly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/608 "2013-08-01T17:30:50Z")
“Who the fecking feck took my damn feck?” asked Tom, fecklessly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/609 "2013-08-01T17:33:30Z")
“What the fucking hell’s a feck?” said Tom dysphemistically. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/610 "2013-08-01T18:55:39Z")
“That’s not how you do a blowjob,” Tom spat. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/611 "2013-08-01T19:24:19Z")
“If only I could see an early David Cronenberg film,” Tom brooded. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/612 "2013-08-01T20:21:11Z")
“Did Mandy Patinkin leave Chicago?” asked Tom, hopefully. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/613 "2013-08-01T20:21:17Z")
“I burning your dog!” said Tom, heatedly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/614 "2013-08-01T20:22:17Z")
“I have a special attraction to quadriplegic women in wheelchairs” said Tom, devotedly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/615 "2013-08-01T20:26:50Z")
“Does Mandy Patinkim even have a mind?” asked Tom, criminally. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/616 "2013-08-01T20:41:37Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > “This is your last chance to surrender, Jabba,” said Luke forcefully. “That’s no way to treat your son,” said Luke offhandedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/617 "2013-08-02T01:50:07Z")
> [@fanganga](#): > > “That’s no way to treat your son,” said Luke offhandedly. Love it! “You’ll save a lot at the grocery store if you use coupons,” Tom said cuttingly. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/618 "2013-08-02T04:47:53Z")
“I could finish this chemistry experiment, if only I had the right equipment!” Tom retorted. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/619 "2013-08-02T05:55:12Z")
“I love those old singing cowboys!” said Tom mixedly. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/620 "2013-08-02T06:51:19Z")
“The policeman who patrols my neighbourhood is a saint,” said Tom beatifically. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=30) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=32)