# Tom Swifties! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095 "2013-07-10T01:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/621 "2013-08-02T12:32:27Z")
“Transport me to the Enterprise!” Tom beamed. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/622 "2013-08-02T12:36:36Z")
Said Yoda shortly, “Judge me by my word order do you?” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/623 "2013-08-02T17:48:24Z")
“I’m tired of scrapbooking. I think I’ll take up quilting” said Tom, craftily. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/624 "2013-08-02T17:50:31Z")
“I’ll bite. When IS Shark Week?,” asked Tom, jawing. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/625 "2013-08-02T18:06:24Z")
“It’s at least Force Ten on the Beaufort scale!” Tom stormed. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/626 "2013-08-02T18:10:54Z")
," said Tom, flying faster than the speed of sound… "Oh, wow! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/627 "2013-08-02T18:13:51Z")
“I use a toilet plunger when playing my trombone” said Tom, mutedly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/628 "2013-08-02T18:34:00Z")
“I do all my own stunts,” said Tom brokenly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/629 "2013-08-02T18:47:58Z")
“Rent for a former factory apartment in Soho is surprisingly cheap”, said Tom loftily. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/630 "2013-08-02T19:29:56Z")
“I’m past one hundred thousand miles,” said Major Tom distantly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/631 "2013-08-02T19:42:47Z")
“Dead man on the down elevator!” yelled Warden Tom, condescendingly. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/632 "2013-08-02T19:49:33Z")
“Out, out, damn spot!,” shouted Tom. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/633 "2013-08-02T19:50:32Z")
“I had to sell every damn one of my pigs,” Tom said disgruntledly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/634 "2013-08-02T20:03:35Z")
“Allons, enfants de la Patrie!” said Le Petomane, talking out his ass. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/635 "2013-08-02T21:42:21Z")
“My spaceship seems to know which way to go,” said Major Tom aimlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/636 "2013-08-03T01:52:01Z")
“I strongly oppose President Garfield’s plans for civil service reform,” Tom said stalwartly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/637 "2013-08-03T08:17:02Z")
“What do I look like - the mighty Thor?” Tom thundered. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/638 "2013-08-03T16:01:51Z")
“I’m scared to read the plays of Noel,” said Tom, cowardly. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/639 "2013-08-03T19:57:18Z")
“We can’t pick up those survivors in the lifeboats, the seas are too high” said Captain Tom, with abandon. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095/640 "2013-08-03T21:08:40Z")
“… — … … — … … — … ,” tapped Tom remorsefully. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tom-swifties/663095.md?page=33)